Children are evil

Fun with old illustrations

History is written by the winners

And it's re-captioned by me.

Fun with old illustrations

The bone zone

Timmy's first nocturnal emission was a success.

Out of the mouths of babes

New captions for old cartoons

It's time for another episode of 'My Dad's a Raccoon'!

I always loved my dad and after he pissed off those sorcerers and witches by evicting them from the broom closet at nuclear power plant and they turned him into a raccoon, I love him even more!

Since he can't work anymore, he's always home when I get off the bus.

"Hi dad!"
"Chee chee, chee, chee."
I never know what he's saying but I'm pretty sure he's telling me he loves me.

Dad's a scamp at dinner time.  He's always bugging me to let him on the table so he can eat and then pee and poop all over our supper!  I usually give him some liquor and before he gets shitfaced and passes out, he's pretty entertaining, especially when he tries to hump our cat Mr. Binky.

 He loves 'helping' mom with the bills.  He chatters up a storm when he sees how much she spends on dresses, ribbons, bows, and prescription pills every month, but what can he do?  Mom's hooking pays the bills now and if she needs pain pills to deaden the pain in her soul, then more power to her.  And seriously, she has to look nice for her 'clients.'

Yeah, things are different now that dad's a raccoon, but they're pretty okay.  I just wish he hadn't given us all a case of raccoon roundworm because that shit is about to kill me.  Literally.

Fun with first aid illustrations

 What's that?  You want me to jam my thumb in your mouth while I pinch your nose?

Okay then.

What now?  You want me to French kiss you?  Okay then...

Mmmmmmmmpppphhhhhh...

Fun with medical illustrations

"When you can blow this tampon over, you'll be well enough to go home."

Admit it, you thought it as well

"I used to get this many fingers up inside your mother's...hey look, I made a rabbit!"

It was me

I put this caption on here, so if this surfaces on your Facebook feed, know that I am responsible.

Don't fence me in

The colorful confirmed bachelor cowboys didn't like being called 'gay.' They preferred to be called 'stylish.'

It's 4:20 somewhere

The Wilsons hated it when little Judy hogged the family joint.

It's vintage remix time!

"Santa told me in a dream that he had better see your kitty hanging from this tree or we won't get any presents Suzy."

"Congress may have repealed it, but 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell' is still in effect when it pertains to our relationship Cletus."

"Hurry up, bury those bodies before the grown ups get here!"


"Who knew red nosed reindeer was so tasty?"

Actions have consequences

"While Jim's defacing those trees, I'll toss some lit matches onto these dry pine needles, just to see what happens."

The traveling minister...

...managed to show up just in time to ruin yet another frontier threesome. Damn him.

"Point to where the Republican touched you Becky..."