Tuesday, August 26, 2014

It's time for another episode of 'My Dad's a Raccoon'!

I always loved my dad and after he pissed off those sorcerers and witches by evicting them from the broom closet at nuclear power plant and they turned him into a raccoon, I love him even more!

Since he can't work anymore, he's always home when I get off the bus.

"Hi dad!"
"Chee chee, chee, chee."
I never know what he's saying but I'm pretty sure he's telling me he loves me.

Dad's a scamp at dinner time.  He's always bugging me to let him on the table so he can eat and then pee and poop all over our supper!  I usually give him some liquor and before he gets shitfaced and passes out, he's pretty entertaining, especially when he tries to hump our cat Mr. Binky.

 He loves 'helping' mom with the bills.  He chatters up a storm when he sees how much she spends on dresses, ribbons, bows, and prescription pills every month, but what can he do?  Mom's hooking pays the bills now and if she needs pain pills to deaden the pain in her soul, then more power to her.  And seriously, she has to look nice for her 'clients.'

Yeah, things are different now that dad's a raccoon, but they're pretty okay.  I just wish he hadn't given us all a case of raccoon roundworm because that shit is about to kill me.  Literally.

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