Still wrong, still evil

I'll say this for the murdering bloodthirsty maniac, Dick Cheney has balls the size of Mars to criticize anyone over Iraq.  He lied and took us to war for no good reason and he's afraid history will judge him harshly, so he's trying to re-write it.  Fuck him.  Fuck him with a rusty chainsaw that's been dipped in the Ebola virus.

And now here's a sock monkey with a joke

 How many people did Dick Cheney have to torture before one agreed to change his light bulb?

The answer is: none.  Dick Cheney didn't torture anyone, he's too much of a pussy to do it himself, so he got some asshole from the CIA to do it for him.

 Careful now, Cheney might shoot you in the face.

 My stars!  A talking monkey and an insubordinate woman.  I shall see to it that both are thrashed within an inch of their worthless lives!

Yes sir, I'll have the fellow who made the previous comment shot for being too lenient.  And I'll put the monkey and the insubordinate woman to death as well.  You're so right sir, the lower forms of life must not be allowed to mock the white males in power.  

9/11?

"Benghazi was worse."

Shut the fuck up you power mad old man.  Go find a hole under a rock, crawl into it, and die.

23 Dicks

I saw this movie the other night:
I must admit I liked it more than I thought I would. It's got a lot of twists and turns and Jim Carrey does a nice job of not being funny in it and the ending is kind of unexpected. I recommend you watch it but only if you can do so for free.

Oh, I almost forgot, the best thing about this movie is that it has Virginia Madsen in it.
She's pretty good in it and she makes most of it bearable, at least for me anyway.
I hope I look as great as she does at 45.
Holy shit, what am I talking about? I'm already 45 and I'll never look that great. Boy howdy is she a pretty woman or what? Virginia is a 10 in 23 and she's the only reason I sat through the entire movie.

I watched Dick again last night on one of those In Demand channels on digital cable.

I loved this movie the first time I saw it and now after seeing it again after about 6 or 7 years, I love it even more. It's about two teenage girls, played Michelle Williams and Kirsten Dunst, who get involved with Dick Nixon and the Watergate mess. It's funny and has great performances by everyone in the cast. This clever film is a must see light comedy.

I was just a little younger than the age the girls in the movie were supposed to be but I remember that era vividly. I remember the clothes, the music, the politics, the attitudes about Nixon, Viet Nam, and dope smoking. This film hits them all dead on and gets it right on every count.

It's a sweet funny comedy that I highly recommend. I like it so much that I may add it to the permanent DVD collection here at Monkey Central if I see it for sale at a low price some time.

And now, you knew they were coming, so here they are, ladies and gents, the obligatory Dick jokes: You can't go wrong with Dick. I'm not kidding, Dick does not suck. You'll laugh and you'll want this Dick for your very own. This Dick is a charmer.

Hey thanks...

...you've been a great audience. Next show is around midnight and I'll be working blue so don't bring the kids. Love ya, mean it!

And now a word from Scooter Libby