How many people did Dick Cheney have to torture before one agreed to change his light bulb?
The answer is: none. Dick Cheney didn't torture anyone, he's too much of a pussy to do it himself, so he got some asshole from the CIA to do it for him.
Careful now, Cheney might shoot you in the face.
My stars! A talking monkey and an insubordinate woman. I shall see to it that both are thrashed within an inch of their worthless lives!
Yes sir, I'll have the fellow who made the previous comment shot for being too lenient. And I'll put the monkey and the insubordinate woman to death as well. You're so right sir, the lower forms of life must not be allowed to mock the white males in power.