I am bursting with "pride" over my Congressmen

I went to Think Progress and I saw this little article on my douchebag House of Rep. member Davis Davis:

Davis aide to take ethics classes for his Wikipedia vandalism.
In June, Timothy Hill, the press secretary for Rep. David Davis (R-TN), used his office computer to make a series of edits to his boss’s Wikipedia page, deleting information about political contributions from the pharmaceutical industry. Hill was caught by a Wikipedia administrator who fixed the entries and wrote an article about Hill’s “blanking vandalism.” As punishment, Davis is now requiring Hill to “attend classes on appropriate conduct for congressional staff members.”


As if that didn't make me all swollen with pride, I scrolled down the page and I saw where both my idiot civil liberties hatin' US Senators BushLamar Alexander and BushBob Corker went to Iraq and after spending 10 hours there they said the surge is working and all kinds of progress was made and that we should continue the war forever!


Those assholes all make me long for the good old days when Gov. Ray Blanton was running things in my state and selling pardons to rich felons.


Update: Give my Congressman's local field office a call at 423-247-8161(Kingsport office) or 423-317-7459 (Morristown office) and ask to see if they will do some Wikipedia edits for you! I did and I'm not sure they appreciated it. Oh yeah, while I had Mr. Hill on the line I told him to resign and told him to tell his boss to resign as well. Somehow I don't think that's one constituent's wish they'll try to make come true.

What's Next China?

As I sit here in the Nissan penthouse office of the Mountain Dew Monkey Muck HQ, word comes to me via the Xerox internets that China has forced Starbucks out of the Forbidden City. How disgusting! Who do those slant eyed Commies think they are?

What's next? Will they force their citizens to stop eating Uncle Ben's fried rice? Or walking on the Yoplait Yogurt sidewalks of Beijing? Or will they have to stop watching their Sony TVs?

People need corporations to tell them what they want to eat, drink, and feel. They need corporations everywhere, all the time, in every facet of their lives. Or are the HalliburtonBlackwaterUSA war of terror on Iraq and the McDonald'sSAIC war of terror on Afghanistan being fought in vain? Have all the SCI causalities been in vain? Is the Hallmark sacrifice of those brave Barnes&Noble men and MidolTampax women who dropped the BoeingAerojet bombs and shot all those people to be now thrown away and not honored in China?

When will President GlaxxoSmithKline Bush and Vice President ExxonMobil Cheney speak out against this anti corporate outrage in China??? Will they hold their Wal-Mart tongues when the Chinese invade us and close down all the malls and force out people to buy from local shops that sell homemade local products? Ewwwwwww. How gross and disgusting would that be? Why it's almost enough to FordGM drive me to have a BudweiserStoli drink before noon!

Now, if you will all excuse me the Starbucks in my colon is experiencing the late morning rush and I have to go lend a hand.