Who's holding our Crunky now?

Uhh, who cares who's holding our Crunky now. Look what we stole off Samurai Frog's blog, a shot of cute Princess Leia wanna be holding a sketch done by Becca of No Smoking in the Skull Cave.

Becca interviews me

The wildly talented and smokin' hot Becca of No Smoking in the Skull Cave, which was one of the blogs that inspired me to start blogging, agreed to interview me. So once again dear readers, get ready to learn more about moi than you had known before.

1. What kind of monkey are you exactly? …and did you know The Quran, the holy book of Muslims mentions that people who broke the Sabbath were turned into monkeys as a punishment?

I am one of the few remaining breed of human/monkey hybrids that the CIA invented back in the early 1960's. We were bred to fight and spy for the USA in the jungles of Southeast Asia. As it turned out our human features began to dwarf our simian features and most of us were caught and killed by the locals or by stoned US GI's. I however made it out alive due to my intelligence and my burning desire to smote the bastards who gave the okay to the CIA agents who created me in their labs in Viet Nam. We few remaining humonks, as we are known as in the halls of CIA HQ at Langley, can be thought of as the counterparts to the fictional character of Jason Bourne.

I did not have any idea the Quran said that about monkeys. Apparently there must have been quite a lot of folks who broke the Sabbath. Perhaps they knew more than the others did or they knew better than to keep it and become sheep.

2. As a writer who are your biggest influences and whom do you think are the most interesting writers working today?

My biggest writing influences were Kurt Vonnegut, Jim Thompson, Elmore Leonard, Tom Robbins, Stan Lee, and Jack Kirby. I know my list looks sexist and it is. I have to admit I shunned most female writers for years, I am now making up for it though. I'm trying to evolve, so get off my already red monkey ass.

The most interesting writers who are writing today are my fellow bloggers. I read blog posts by people on my blog roll all the time that are so well written, touching, thought provoking, political, and funny that I am constantly amazed and astounded. If I never read anything but these people's blogs for the rest of my life I would be better off than people who read nothing but "serious" fiction and non fiction. My fez is off to all of you bloggers on my blog roll, you amuse, inspire, and engage me everyday.

3. What is a Crunky bar actually made of?

It's best of I just show you. They start with this,

then they add this,

then they toss in quite a bit of these,
and finally they add a dash of this.
It all works surprisingly well together. Perhaps now you can see why Crunky is not sold in the United States.

4. What are your 5 favorite TV shows of all time and why?

Excellent question, you must have sensed that I watch too damn much TV. Anyway here is my list:

1) I must cheat a little and lump some shows into one so that I can truly answer your question honestly. Having said that one of my favorites then would be my favorite Britcoms. And those are all the various Blackadder series (they were so well written and acted and they were not just broad humor either, they contained acidly etched social commentary if you look close enough), Father Ted (as a former Catholic this show is screamingly funny to me and it's timeless as well as funny, great acting, great comedy, great guest stars, especially Graham Norton as the happiest priest in all of Ireland), and The Vicar of Dibley (a timeless sitcom that started out as a fish out of water show but turned into a gentle comedy that mocked and celebrated country/rural life).

2) The Simpsons. It remains the funniest, most well written, most subversive show on TV today. It's one of the few shows I will watch on the wretched Fox network.

3) The Daily Show. It's the perfect antidote to the idiotic corporate media news shows. It manages to walk the line between funny and outrage like no other.

4) Sportscenter. In a world dominated by stupid politicians, asshole-ish celebrities, and bad news, this show gives me some mindless sports info and the best clips of the day. I especially love this show during football season, both college and pro, the Major League post season, and right before and right after the golf "majors." Hosts of this show I have loved most are Keith Olbermann, Dan Patrick, and Linda Cohn, she of the 12 toes.

5) I'm reaching way back for my last one but since it is currently running on American Life Network on Sunday nights I can get away with it, Hill Street Blues. It set the stage for all other great prime time dramas to come after it. It was well written, well acted, and well filmed. It launched many an actor's career and it was a landmark series.

5. If you had the chance to build the perfect woman…ala Frankenstein…which parts from which women would you use.

I regret that I can not answer this question, due to circumstances beyond my control

Thanks Becca for a fun interview!!

If any of you want to me to interview you, leave a comment stating something to that effect in the comments.

Meme Madness

Sometimes I fucking hate Blogspot and it's won't let you take out all those damned big ass white chunks of nothingness in the posts. I apologize for big ass chunks of nothingness and I curse the dark gods that bore Blogspot.

Becca over at No Smoking in the Skull Cave tagged me with my first meme. Here are the rules:

1. Go to http://www.popculturemadness.com/

2. Pick the year you turned 18

3. Get yourself nostalgic over the song’s of the year

4. Write something about how the songs affected you

5. Pass it on to 5 more friends

Since the lovely Miss Becca's blog was one of my blog inspirations, I am honored to obey her wishes, although since I am so old some of you may think that my song choices are off a playlist from a classic rock station. But here goes anyway:

The first song I pick from the year I turned 18, which was 1980 by the way, is Bruce Springsteen's Hungry Heart.

It's off his double CD, though then we would have called it a double album, The River. This song is important to me because it showed the longing for something different that a lot of us were experiencing at that time. Reagan was swept into power in the USA in 1980 and not all of us liked it or liked what he represented. This song, and the album, told me that I was not alone and that there were others with me. Plus, I danced , very badly mind you, to it at about a million college mixers. I liked this version I found on You Tube because it also has Shawn Colvin, Mary Chapin Carpenter, Bonnie Raitt, Jackson Browne, Little Steven, Nils Lofgren, and all those other musicians on it. I defy you not to at least sway some when you hear it.

The next song I choose is the first rap song I ever heard The Breaks by Kurtis Blow.

Yes, Rappers Delight finished higher on the charts that year, but this was the first rap song I heard. There was no way of knowing then just how big rap would become and what it would mean to so many people, both white and black. I knew I was hearing something different that first time I heard it in Dave and Alex's dorm room and I was kind of scared of it, but in a good way. I thought, man that's neat but it's not what us white folk are supposed to be listening to. It was like a way to secretly rebel and be in solidarity with my black brothers and sisters, which I am sure would have been great news to them. I can't say I like all rap, just like I don't like all rock or all electronica or all country, but I do love the political rap of groups like Public Enemy, Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy, Wyclef Jean, and others.

The next song I choose is Rock Lobster by The B52's.

I always felt like I was very different from the kids I went to high school with in that I wanted to get out the countryside as soon as I could after graduating. I wanted the bright lights, the big city, the wild experiences of living a fast paced life. I wanted to live in NYC or Paris or London, you know where the action was and I wanted to hang out with people like the B52's. People who I thought were hip and artsy and socially aware yet fun as hell too. I never got around to living in NYC or Paris or London, yet, and I never got to hang with the B52's, yet, but when I do we're gonna stay up and party all night long, sing this song at the top of our lungs, and laugh and drink like they did in the Weimar Republic or in 1920's Paris.

My next choice is ACDC's You Shook Me All Night Long.

I never really got into ACDC much until I got to college that is. When I heard this song for the first time, and for the rest of the album that it came from, Back in Black, it struck something deep and primeval in me. It sounded so raw and nasty that I felt like I need to shower after I heard it. I had never seen Angus Young thrash on his guitar the way he does when he plays ever before then, but I hung my head and let the crunchy chords sweep me away, like Angus does when he plays. In those days heavy metal bands were a dime a dozen but there was no one else quite like ACDC and no other band had quite the same effect they did on me and my friends in college.

My final selection is from "the only band that mattered." My last selection is The Clash's Train In Vain.

The Clash were a group of pasty faced hard living, hard drinking, hard smokin' punk rockers who were political as hell. They played fast, and hard, and they had a unapologetic left wing view of things. The Sex Pistols may have been more provocative than the boys in The Clash, but they were really just poseurs compared to Joe Strummer and his motley band. The Clash were like a breath of fresh air to me after I had suffered through years and years of music put out by groups like Styx, Kansas, Boston, and sensitive singer songwriters like Dan Fogelberg. Finally here was a band that played hard core rock and roll that did not fit into a neat little pigeonhole. I dug it like crazy that in those early days top 40 radio did not play most of The Clash's songs, because that meant that others had to do some work to find out about them and that they had to get off their asses and stop listening to the pre programmed crap the corporate machine was spewing. This song was one of the few Clash songs played on mainstream radio in those days, in fact some radio station in Atlanta dedicated it to our senior class when they played it on the first night of our senior trip in May of 1980. I recall thinking through my pot and vodka induced haze that night, "Damn how cool is that? They just dedicated that Clash song to us, we rock."

Okay, now I tag the following people: my pal D Cup over at Politits, everybody's sweetheart Blue Gal, my liege Cap'n Dyke, because I think it's funny Jesus Christ (though I doubt He reads my little blog), and Peacechick.

We all know Jesus has all the time in the world to do His is He ever does it, but you ladies feel free to take your time.