"Trump thinks wages are too high? He's too high to be serious. He must be smoking something."
"That was a debate? I thought it was a game, what with all those softball questions."
"They let a smarmy Canadian in there, how'd that happen?"
"Ben Carson doesn't like being scrutinized? Yeah, he's a real medical doctor, those fuckers learn to brush off scrutiny the first year in med school. Also, fuck him for saying we need smaller government when he grew up taking government benefits with both hands and using Affirmative Action to get ahead."
"I'm making lots of jam to put on all the also ran candidates who are toast at this point. I'm looking at you Rand Paul, Chris Christie, Gomer Huckabee, and Miss Lindsey Graham."