"Absolutely, we must do everything to keep poor people from getting quality healthcare. It says so in the Bible."
"The will of a small minority must be done."
"As long as I can still keep my gun, I don't give a shit."
"Dang it, the government is shut down? Someone at NASA was supposed to tell me if these things on my sweater were sentient life from outer space."
"The government is never truly shut down as long as my lazy good for nothing Congressman is getting paid."
"Jesus is going to take my hymen soon."