"I'm too busy to care what he's doing because I'm screwing my neighbor's wife."
"I'm ready to go to war again. I'm bored sitting at home and suffering with PTSD."
"I'm pissed he didn't start the war I didn't want him to start. This diplomacy shit, Bush never did it. I just can't get used to it."
"Obama is still president? Holy shit, what year is this?"
"Syria? Why do I need to care about Syria? Let those crazy Muslim bastards kill one another. I've got more important things to worry about, like this computer for instance. Hello? 1998 called, it wants this 600 pound computer back."
"Can't we let Israel do our dirty work over there? They've done such a bang up job oppressing the Palestinians, they ought to kick those Syrians asses."
"I'm sitting on a fucking rock and acting like I'm meditating. That should tell you all you need to know about how little I think about things."
"I often wonder what would become of me if President Obama ran his dusky hands all over my body before he took my clothes off me and made me his Oval Office love slave."
"My husband told me that I'm all for the opposite of what ever he does."
"Let's not talk about Syria, let's talk about what Ben Affleck as Batman will do if the government shuts down. Will he come to our aid? Or will he be all like, 'I've got to save Jenny from the block and that chick from Alias.'? That's what I want to know. And also, I want to know when my meds will be here."