It's time to check in with the cleaning lady

Hey cleaning lady, you look down in the dumps. What's up? You didn't go and huff some ammonia mixed with bleach again did you?
No. I told you already I only did that those tens of times because I was drunk. No, see, I'm down in the dumps over all the nonsense the conservatives are pulling.

Oh yeah, like what?

Like this Sarah Palin shit. She ups and quits in the middle of her first term and then she says she's not a quitter and that she's actually a fighter and all the Republicans and their toads on FOX Noise fall all over themselves making excuses for her. If I upped and quit my job I'd lose my house and my car. No one lauds me for going to work every day and cleaning up after people. Oh crap, excuse me. I need to clean that off the window before it dries.


What was it?

Well Gov. Mark Sanford (R-SC) was just here and he got excited telling me all about his affair with his Argentine soul mate. He got so excited that he squirted some spuzz on the window.

Ewwwww.

Aaaaah, I've seen worse.

Really?

Sure. I had to clean up after Sen. Ensign (R-Nev.) and since I know some young kids read this blog, let's just say that after him and that married woman he was banging got done with their business there was lots of skidmarks on the walls and floors and and broken vials that needed cleaning up.

Broken vials? You know what was in them? Were they doing drugs?

They didn't contain drugs, they were filled with the tears of small children who were frightened by clowns. Ensign uses them as a personal lubricant. Hey, can you move for a minute? I need to scrub up the place where John McCain's adult diaper exploded.

What else is eating at you cleaning lady?

Get this, the conservatives who are getting the best health care our government has to offer want to make sure that people like me don't get it. If it's good enough for them, how come I can't have it? They say it's too expensive but hell, we've found enough money to pay for two wars. Why can't we find enough money to insure all Americans? Instead of calling it 'single payer health care for all' let's call it 'fighting the war on terror' and then they'll bend over backwards to pay for it.


You seem pretty smart cleaning lady. Why don't you run for office some day?

Because I've got too much self respect and I can't talk out of both sides of my mouth while screwing the public over at the same time. You know what I'd like to do though? I'd like to ram this vaccuum hose nozzle up all the butts of all the conservative politicians and vaccuum the hypocrisy right out of them.
Oh cleaning lady, you know they don't make a vaccuum big enough to hold all that.

Yeah, I know, it's just a dream I have. It's kind of like my other dream...

Which is?

That one day I'll be able to huff ammonia and bleach without blacking out.