Hi everyone, I'm Millie! I used to have my own comic book in the '60's but Marvel Comics pulled the plug on it and now I'm reduced to appearing in blog posts like this one. It's a bitch but what can a working gal do? Work is work. Anyhoo, Dr. Monkey asked me to come in and answer some questions some of you have about what Sen. Barack Obama's win on Tuesday means. Our first question comes from Mr. Pete Moss of Fungi, Idaho. Mr. Moss wants to know, "Do we all have to get gay married now?"
No. Same sex marriage is not a right as of yet. In fact because of the actions of the hateful Mormon church, those awful people are right up there with the assholes at Westboro Baptist if you ask me, it's not going to be legal in California anymore. It is legal in Massachusetts however but who wants to live there? (If you live in Massachusetts, I'm just kidding. Dr. Monkey told me to say that.)
Next question comes to us from Dr. Basil Bodi of Loma Linda, CA. Dr. Bodi wants to know, "Do we all have to become Muslims now?"
Ummm, Doc, are you an idiot or something? No one has to become anything they don't want to become when it comes to religion in this country. Freedom of religion means that you can be anything you like, or not, it's up to each person.
Next question comes from Miss Judy Garfinkle. Judy query is this, "Will I still have smooth mosist skin after Obama takes office?"
Hang on Judy, I'll answer your question when I stop laughing so much. Seriously, I've got to take a minute to wipe away the tears of laughter that I've gotten after reading your stupid question.
Wow. No shit, that was funny Judy. Next question please.
Bob Frapples wants to know if I can close both my eyes at once. Well, Bob, here's your answer:
Dot Matrix asks, "I lost my job at the plant when they closed it and moved operations to China. My unemployment has run out and I'm selling blood plasma to make ends meet. Are my taxes going up?"
No.
Pete Moss has another question, "Are you really sure I can't get gay married? Because at this point I'd like to try it. See, my old lady is driving me nuts and the kids what with their whining and shit and always needing things like food and new shoes, and sweaters, and medicine and shit, heck I'd like to just chuck all that and live it up with another dude for awhile. I'm serious. Do you know any gay guys who might want to hook up with me Millie? Hell, I'd even move to Massachusetts if I had to. They got trailer parks up there don't they?"
Sorry Pete. The only gays I know, Batman and Robin, are already living together.
Well, that's all I've got time for now, I've gotta run and get my hair done. See ya'll in the funny papers! Bye now.
14 comments:
I wish we could all get gay married. It would stimulate the economy and the love.
Literally ROFL! Great post, Dr. M/Millie!
that is just a great little post!
Ha haaa!! I love it!!
I'm already out fighting Prop8
The mormon church sux!!!
Thanks Drs. Monkey and Millie!
I don't think gays would live in a trailer park. Sorry Pete. You'' have to stick with the goats on your neighbor's front lawn.
This is beyond hilarious.
At least Millie's not a dried-out old crotch like Mary Worth.
I would like to answer Judy Garfinkle's question if I may because I think she's been given short shrift here.
Judy: Yes, you will have smooth soft skin from now on because you'll be able to enjoy a good night's sleep again which will do wonders for your complexion and you will no longer have to worry about breaking out in hives every time your president gets up to speak.
I love this. I'll say it again, "I don't know how I lived before I found Monkey's blog!"
I don't love that people outside my state mounted a $70M campaign against other people's civil rights.
*SNORT*
Can you get a picture age dated for Millie? Since these are older pics, just wondering. Don't get me started on the Mormom bunch, I just blogged about them. Grrrr.
Oh Monkey--life would soooo suck without you!
And is Millie married?
That is so damned funny! Millie Von Monkerstein is wise.
Not to mention, she has full kissable lips.
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