Ahhhhhhh, sweet sweet tobacco, how I've missed you since my heart attack. Yesssss, inhale deeply and exhale slowly. Oh sweet jeebus how I've missed smoking. Huh? What's that noise? It sounds like a small child is hurtling itself at my front door. I better go check it out. 
Holy crap, it's my canine buddy Chester Cheesy Poof! What's up boy? Why have you come to see me? Grrrr. Ruff, ruff. Arff. Bark. Bark. Ruff, ruff arf.
No this isn't a cigarette. Oh ok, yes it is. I'll put it out. Happy now?
Ruff, ruff ruff, bark arf arf arf.
Oh my gosh! Are you kidding me Chester? Has Bush McCain really suspended his campaign in the light of the economic meltdown that he helped create? 
You mean he's backing down like a spineless little ninny baby?
Ruff, ruff, arf arf bark bark.
No Chester, I couldn't possibly get back into the Presidential campaign, I've been off the campaign trail for over a month now. I've got other things to do.
Arf, bark, arf arf arf?
Well if you must know, I've got to finish reading War and Peace. I've got to finish those paint by number paintings, learn to waltz, train a bear to do some unnecessary highly invasive exploratory surgery, memorize my multiplication tables, make a list of things I need to forget to do today, and subdue my newest mortal enemy Nicolette Fury:
So as you can see Chester I don't have time to run for President again. And besides my running mate is pissed about how I dropped out of the campaign without telling her. How can I run with out my girl Kristi in my corner?
Arf, arf, bark, bark! Arf, ruff, ruff ruff arf!
Holy crap, you're right Chester. I can't turn my back on my country now, I've got to get back in this race so that I can win it and save the USA from stupid politicians who are about to sell us out to the Wall Street fat cats once again! I've got to go warm up the hoverpod!
Arf ruff ruff ruff arf! Ruff, bark bark. Ruff ruff.
Good idea Chester! You go tell Kristi that we're back in the race and to meet me in Oxford Mississippi the site of the first Presidential debate while I go do the rounds on the TV talks shows. Tell her I'll see her on Friday and tell her we're in this to win this!
Arf, arf, bark! Bark bark bark. Arf ruff ruff.
Oh that's just fat Elvis, 
don't worry he's harmless. He won't eat you. At least I think he won't. Now run Chester run!
Zaius, Dr. Smith, and Diva Jood better watch out because Monkey/Love is back! And we're out to kick some ass!
13 comments:
Fat Elvis got himself some soul.
Yea! More pics of Chester!!
Naughty Monkey! Chester is a real American hero!
YES! I knew you'd come back to save us, Monkey!
Now, Monkey, I thought that you were going to stop running and join MY campaign staff. :P
I would have been glad to Divajood except for the nun thingy you have on your ticket. The politest thing I can say about her is that I won't say anything about her.
O NOOOOOOO!
I must urgently meet with Zaius and That Lesbian IMMEDIATELY!
Chester be all up in yo face and shit. You could just tell him to "sit". That's what I do.
I'm afraid!
No superhero music? Damn.
By the way, Chester is highly suspicious of all Elvises (Elvisi?), not just the fat ones. My dog goes not discriminate.
Ho
and
Ray!!!
Back in fat, baby -see you in Oxford!
Bah! You always turn up like a bad penny, you foul wretch!
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