Friday, May 23, 2008

It's time to unburden yourself and come clean, so...

"Hi everyone, Daredevil here. You know me as the blind superhero/attorney from the pages of Marvel comics, but you may not know that I have taken on a new challenge. In addition to all my other jobs and duties, I'm now the official "listener" of this blog. You can tell me anything, go on level with me and I'll never judge you. I'm just here to listen to you unburden yourself. Go on, open up and tell ol' Daredevil anything." "George Bush here, or in other words, the President of the US and A. I'm here to level with you and tell you I'd be shocked if they ever arrest me for anything I've done while in office. My high crimes and misdemeanors have been waaaaay worse than Nixon's, and yet the Congress lets me go right on fuckin' over the poor and working class people of this country. Heh, heh, heh, Hell fire, they may give me a medal or something before I go. If I go, that is, heh, heh, heh."
"Ya'll don't know me but I'm gonna level with ya, if you looked like Dick Cheney as much as I look like Dick Cheney, then you'd be drinking like a fish and smoking like a porn star's privates after a gang bang movie shoot too."
"I'm a half full bottle of Cheerwine, I've got nothing to level with you about. Sorry double D."

"I'd like to level with you Mr. Daredevil and tell you that I, Nigella Lawson, love it when someone tells me I look like Blue Gal."

"I'm not gonna lie to you Daredevil, I'm gonna level with you, this is not what it looks like. Neither I or the white woman know who the hell this monkey is. He just showed up in our sauna, we seriously have no clue as to who he is. Can you tell us sir, does he bite?"

"Namrata Shirodkar here, and I'm gonna level with you. Can you believe I was the third or fourth hottest chick in Bride and Prejudice? I mean come on! How crazy is that? In any other movie I'd be the #1 hot chick on the set, go figure."
"Hardly anybody in the USA knows that I, Prime Minister of Canada Brian Harper, am not Bush's poodle like Tony Blair was. Nope, no siree, I am most certainly not his poodle. I am however Bush's bee-otch. Word. Yo. I'm da mack daddy of all bitchez, yo."

"What that bottle of Cheerwine said goes double for me, so sayeth this bucket o' chum."

"I'll level with you. I don't know jack shit about economics, diplomacy, meteorology, animal husbandry, the father of modern genetics Gregor Mendel, bowling, hot pants, disco dancing, the revolutions of 1848, the price of tea in China, what my minister John Hagee believes, and economics, I know I already said it once but I figured I better toss it in again. But I do know a little something about playing the 'I was a POW in Vietnam' card. Oh have I never told you about how I was a prisoner of war in Vietnam? Well, sit down then and I'll..."

"I'll level with you Daredevil and I'll tell you that while I appreciate Dr. Monkey pushing me to be Senator Obama's running mate this fall, I am considering taking a restraining order out against him. I think he's got an unhealthy crush on me or something."

10 comments:

dguzman said...

Holy hot monkey love, Monkey--you're on fire today.

And I've GOT to watch Bride & Prejudice! If she's the "3rd or 4th hottest chick" in that movie, I definitely need to BUY Bride & Prejudice.

Mnmom said...

Daredevil: I'm worried that I'll be imprisoned for hating W when martial law is put into action just after Obama wins the presidential election. Can you help??

Blueberry said...

The chum appears to contain marshmallows. I find that disturbing. Not sure why.

And my eyes are burning from that pic but it might be from the sauna pic too.

C.J. said...

Holy shit Monkey Man! I miss this sense of humor!!

Anonymous said...

That's quite a roller coaster ride of images you've got there, Dr. Monkey.

Bridget Jones said...

THAT my friend was absolutely CHOICE!!!!!!

Bridget Jones said...

p.s. whatever you're on, I'll have a dozen please.

Madam Z said...

That sauna picture makes the buckey of chum look quite appetizing, by comparison!

Micgar said...

Huh?! I'm still looking at Nigella!

libhom said...

On paper, Sebelius sounds like the strongest running mate for Obama. I guess I'll have to look into her more.