The Origin of Dr. Monkey

Many years ago my father was captured in the wilds of Africa and he was transported here to a zoo in the USA. The zookeeper was a putz who often was cruel to my father. He poked him with sticks and he taunted him with photos of a scantily clad Elke Sommer. Being the smart monkey my Daddy was, he stole the keys to the cages one night.

Dad opened his cage and he scampered to the zookeepers house.

Dad was a ladies man and he bedded the zookeepers wife in world record time.
All readers under the age of 18 please skip past the next photo or you may go blind, have hair to grow out of your palms, and or the baby Jesus will smite you for wasting all those baby making sperms.Nine months after their encounter I came along. I got my good looks from my dad and I got my brains from my mom. After years of physical therapy I learned to walk upright and to do things like you full blooded humans do.I also went through extensive electrolysis that was quite painful at times. But, because the ladies still like a bit of hair, I kept some of it.

I swear that story is true. So if someone tells you that I just found a picture of a monkey in a fez and I got Dr. Zaius to photoshop that head onto all kinds of crazy photos then they are lying.