Monday, December 3, 2007

A lesson in history for Glen Beck

Glen Beck had himself a nice lil' sit down interview with the President, well I say "sit down" but it was probably more like he had his nose up the Presidential ass while he asked his softball questions. What struck me as funny about this interview was that afterwards Beck says that Bush has a Lincolnesque honesty. I laughed my monkey ass off when I first read that. But then I got kind of sad because I figured that either Beck was joking again, like he did that time when he said that the fires in California were fine because they were burning down the homes of America "haters" or that he just didn't know who Abe Lincoln really was.

I'm in a charitable mood, this being the holidays and all, so I figured I'd use my blog for good this time instead of evil and I'll explain the difference between Abe Lincoln and George W. Bush to Mr. Beck and all the rest of his minions.

  • Abe Lincoln gave his life for this country.
  • Abe sought to keep our union together.
  • Abe freed the slaves.
  • Abe governed this nation in the interest of all the people not just a select few.
  • Abe surrounded himself with people who disagreed with him so he could see all sides of an issue.
  • Abe has two memorials to him, one in Washington DC that is a magnet for freedom loving people the world over and the other in South Dakota.


  • George Bush refused to fight for his country when he had the chance to as a young man. He used his father's influence to get him into a cushy deployment with the Texas National Guard. And he didn't even finish that commitment.
  • Bush took this nation to war over nothing and he used faulty intelligence to justify it.
  • Bush has governed this nation with the interests of the white ruling elites in mind. He has shown himself time and time again to be on the side against the poor, the working class, and the middle class.
  • Bush has placed himself above the law with his many "signing statements." In a nation that is governed by laws our President has exempted himself, wrongfully so, from many of them.
  • Bush has refused to listen to voices of dissent from within his own administration, from the heartland of this country, and from the world in general. He refuses to speak in front of crowds that are not pre-screened and determined to be loyal to him.
  • Bush has cut taxes for the wealthiest people in this country while rolling back services and programs that help the biggest majority.
  • Through his war of terror on the people of Iraq and Afghanistan he has succeeded in creating more terrorists and causing our once staunch allies to hate and shun us.
  • Bush has, through his refusal to sign the Kyoto accords and to do anything substantive about climate change, condemned millions of people to death and disease.
  • Bush seeks to enslave millions of us to the multinational corporations and to the credit card companies.
  • There will never be a memorial statue tribute to George W. Bush, or to his weak kneed milk toast of a father for that matter, because memorial statues are never built to commemorate colossal failures.

Mr. Beck, I hope that clears things up a bit for you on the difference between Lincoln and that thug who currently occupies the office of Commander in Chief.

10 comments:

Liberality said...

damn Monkey! you are on fire with this post! Bush and his minions are right up there with the worst dictators for killing, directly or indirectly, millions of people.

Micgar said...

Dr Monkey: i really love it when you do the bullets and just so down the list of things that make these pieces of crap-well pieces of crap! Glen Beck should have this piece of information neatly, and permanently superglued to his forehead.

Crayons said...

Dear Dr.

You combine great analysis with great writing to such good ends. I know all of these things that you mention but I wouldn't have been able to articulate them that well. I love it when you get fiesty like this. It is infectious. I just stood up in my kitchen and roared.

Distributorcap said...

can i just use your label
glenn beck is a fucking idiot

one of the reasons i will not watch cnn anymore.

beck is rush limbaugh with nicer hair

Randal Graves said...

That wuss Lincoln never had to deal with the Perpetual War on the Islamofascistocommunisto-
marxoniancaliphatism. Hence, the nuance of difference, barely perceptible.

dguzman said...

Can I get an amen!? AMEN!

Great post!

Ed said...

Great post, although I have to disagree with you on two points.

1) Bush has not been a colossal failure, rather, he has been hugely successful at achieving his aims: Making boatloads of bucks for his family and cronies, concentrating power, raping the constitution and screwing the poor and the middle class are just a few. He really doesn't care if this war ever ends. To the contrary, as long as it continues he can continue to further his true aims. The way things are going, I worry that we won't be rid of him after the next election, if there is one.

2) He probably will have a statue erected in his honor. He, or one of his minions, will order it built himself. I can see it now: The Moron in "his" flightsuit.

Romius T. said...

I just love the fact that you have a tag for how stupid glenn beck is!!

FranIAm said...

Simply.
Feckin'.
Brilliant.

Monkey rocks. Beck sucks.

Anonymous said...

The only thing Lincoln and Bush have in common is the rumour that they both belong to teh gays.