Hey Amurica, what's up? How ya'll doin'? How they hangin'? I just wanted to let ya'll know that I ain't seen them CI of A tapes they destroyed. I ain't seen a bit of them old tapes I tell ya. I been too busy watching other stuff with my pal Ugly Sweater Dude.
And his brother Daryl and his other brother Daryl.
We all been hanging out here in the bowels of the White House waitin' on Christmas to roll around. We been doing the usual white guy stuff, we drink beer, punch each other in the arm, and watch Christmas specials.
We all been hanging out here in the bowels of the White House waitin' on Christmas to roll around. We been doing the usual white guy stuff, we drink beer, punch each other in the arm, and watch Christmas specials. ********
Lat night we watched I'm Dreaming of a White Supremacist Christmas. It starred Bing Crosby's great grandchildren. We really dug how them little blonde gals held them rifles. It's made our second amendments hard, if you know what I'm sayin'.
Heck fire Amurica, have a seat and let's see what's on now. Ya'll grab a beer and hang with us for a while.
I love the shows that come on this channel but theys all a little alike.
Awwww, look ya'll it's the Interspecies Romance Holiday Special Show. Dang that lil' doggie can bring home the bacon, if you know what I mean. I may have to try some of his moves someday.
We got Regis and Kathy Lee on channel 6. I wonder how many kids that Kathy Lee has by now? Ahhh, who knows? If she wants to make more white babies then she can go right ahead.
Hey look ya'll! It's Chuck Colson! He's on BET.
Ewwww, is that the dude who won "A Shot at an STD with Tila Tequila"? He looks kind of doughy to me.
Heck fire Amurica, have a seat and let's see what's on now. Ya'll grab a beer and hang with us for a while.I love the shows that come on this channel but theys all a little alike.Awwww, look ya'll it's the Interspecies Romance Holiday Special Show. Dang that lil' doggie can bring home the bacon, if you know what I mean. I may have to try some of his moves someday.We got Regis and Kathy Lee on channel 6. I wonder how many kids that Kathy Lee has by now? Ahhh, who knows? If she wants to make more white babies then she can go right ahead.Hey look ya'll! It's Chuck Colson! He's on BET.Ewwww, is that the dude who won "A Shot at an STD with Tila Tequila"? He looks kind of doughy to me. ********
Lemme flip past the religious channels right quick.
Holy shit! Is that my Lord and Savior holding a Crunky bar? Ya'll remind me later to invade Japan so's we kin all git some Crunky.
The Fat Baptisim Hour? Oh hells no. I'm turning it.
Check it out, The Twelve Beards of Christmas is on the Amish channel. I love me some hairy dudes. And ya'll wanna know the hairiest dude I love the most? Tom Jones.
And Larry the Cable Guy.
Wow, who knew ol' Larry got down with his bad self like that? 
Oh snap. We're watching this Amurica. Ya'll kin hang out if you like but ya'll gotta be quiet. I needs to hear me some TJ fo' the holiday right now. Ya'll let ya selves out if ya don't want ta stay, ok? Ok. You Daryl, pass me a beer dude. Yeah I finished my last one, it's not unusual after all.
Holy shit! Is that my Lord and Savior holding a Crunky bar? Ya'll remind me later to invade Japan so's we kin all git some Crunky.********
What the hell is this on TBN?
The Fat Baptisim Hour? Oh hells no. I'm turning it.Check it out, The Twelve Beards of Christmas is on the Amish channel. I love me some hairy dudes. And ya'll wanna know the hairiest dude I love the most? Tom Jones.And Larry the Cable Guy.Wow, who knew ol' Larry got down with his bad self like that? Hang on a minute. What's this on VH1 Classic?
Oh snap. We're watching this Amurica. Ya'll kin hang out if you like but ya'll gotta be quiet. I needs to hear me some TJ fo' the holiday right now. Ya'll let ya selves out if ya don't want ta stay, ok? Ok. You Daryl, pass me a beer dude. Yeah I finished my last one, it's not unusual after all. ********
Happy War on Christmas Amurica!
11 comments:
my eyes, my eyes! it burns!!!!!
I love laughing out loud at work. It freaks everyone out. Thank you again, Dr. Monkey!
I am laughing out loud in a computer lab too, Monkey. These are TOO funny! Really, stop! It's because I care. You will be arrested because this kind of humor cannot go unchecked. It has the potential to enlighten the masses as to their foibles. VEEERRRY dangerous.
You wrote this post just for me, right? Holy crap...did you see how, um, tight, Mr. Jones's pants red pants were? You can read the date on the dime in his pocket.
Funny, my kids posing with guns around the Christmas tree don't look nearly so...aryan. That was nearly a Christmas card for us last year.
And, while the Lord holding your Crunky is big news, it's not nearly so big as This Is Tom Jones on DVD for the holidays!
That was like an early christmas present, it was so much fun to read. Thank you Santa Monkey :)
That was a gem! And you've been tagged.
There are so many awesome pictures in this post that I could not even concentrate on the text! That sweater! And Tom Jones! I am resisting the urge to throw my underwear at the monitor!
Ah the amazing twists and turns that are the imagination of the good doctor!
All I know is luvz me some Tom Jones... And if Jesus is handing out Crunky at mass instead of wafers, I am so in!
Dguzman-I'm sorry! Go wash your eyes out now.
Randal-Share the monkey love, gather your work mates around yor computer when you read me.
Freida-I'm glad I made you laugh, but shouldn't you be studying?
Karen-I've written a few posts where Bush talks about his man crush on Tom Jones, but I did use that photo of him for you.
Bubs-Nothing sez Xmas like kids with guns around the tree!
Pop-You're welcome little girl. Now come sit on santa Monkey's knee. :)
Blueberry-Glad you liked it!
Missy-Control your underwear tossing, unless it's around me or your husband.
Fran-I'll talk to the Pope about the body of Christ getting Crunkified.
You slander the good name of Tom Jones by associating him with those others.
You're just jealous that Tom's a swinging cat!
Post a Comment