Proud of the right things

For the 3.5 of you who do not know what water-boarding is, here's a handy guide:

Notice how in the handy guide that it says that the origin of water-boarding began during the Spanish Inquisition, a high point in this planet's religious life to be sure. Communists in the USSR, China, North Korea, East Germany, Vietnam, were just a few of the groups who used this torture technique. And our government here in the USA has used it time and time again, even though it's against international law to do so. The civil and human rights hating thugs in the Bush junta get around the law by saying that the people who we water-board are terrorists who are not attached to any country so the international laws that govern torture don't apply to them. Which of course if bull shit.
I'd like you to meet this nice looking young man. His name is Deroy Murdock and he is a conservative writer. One of the media entities he writes for is the National Review, which for those of you who do not know is a conservative magazine that was founded by William Buckley, who in the interest of full disclosure I have met and have been photographed with. In this column for the National Review Mr. Murdock says that water-boarding is not so bad because no one he knows of has ever died from being water-boarded and that it has gotten us plenty of "great" intelligence that we've used against the terrorists. He goes on to say that Americans should be proud that our troops and our CIA are water-boarding.

I find this odd coming from a man who probably has people in his family who were shot with water cannons during the civil rights era and who were probably shot at with real live bullets so he could go to whatever Ivy League school he went to in peace. It strikes me as funny that he would be proud of something so awful as water-boarding when he should proud of the right things like all the work people like Martin Luther King did to make this country a better place for him. He should be proud of the work of Bobby Kennedy and LBJ in ending segregation in schools and in ending voter discrimination.

I'd be willing to bet that if Mr. Murdock ever gets water-boarded he'll do a 180 and he'll claim that water-boarding is the worst thing in the world one human being can do to another. I'd be willing to bet that after he almost drowns from the water that gets forced down his lungs during his water-boarding session that he uses every spare minute of his days to outlaw water-boarding.

When someone gets water-boarded they will admit to anything. The "intelligence" we get from water-boarded prisoners is useless, just like the intelligence they used to justify going to war with Iraq in the first place. You know what? If I was water-boarded I'd admit to anything they wanted me to. I'd admit that I was the head of Al Qaeda, that I raped Jenna and Not Jenna, that I caused all cancer in the world, that Anne Frank is in the attic. But you know what? If they feel like water-boarding is not so bad and that we should be proud of it, then let's water-board the following people and see how they like it:
I say we water-board the new Attorney General and then ask him it what just happened to him was torture. then we grab the Chickenhawk in Chief and we water-board him and then we ask him if he made up all that shit about Saddam having nukes.
Then we continue on in our march of water-boarding and we give it to these guys. Wolfie for being a comb licking liar, Rummy for telling the people in the military that it's okay to torture, Cheney because this war was largely his doing, and Commissioner Gordon for leaving Gotham City.Then we grab these two and water-board them. Colin gets it for giving that lie laced speech at the UN that helped bring us closer to war with Iraq and Condi gets it for being a worse diplomat than John Bolton ever was.

Then we grab Paula Deen and water-board her for making the rest of us Southerners look like we love all our food dipped in lard and then deep fried and for shilling for one of the worst companies on earth, Smithfield Meats. And speaking of meat, I say we water-board this meatloaf because it looks like it could be a meatloaf of mass destruction.




There is no way in hell I'm ever going to be proud that my government sanctions water-boarding. And Uncle Tom Deroy Murdock is living in a dream world if he thinks any American in their right mind agrees with him.