Monday, October 1, 2007

Broken

I had been saving my nickels, dimes, and pennies for months so that I could finally buy an iSplotchy of my very own.

The day finally arrived when I had enough cash and I ran to my local iSplotchy retailer and I plunked down my money.

I was giddy with happiness. My feet barely touched the ground as I ran home. But then I tripped as I crossed the threshold of el Casa de Monkey and my iSplotchy flew out of my hand, fell on the floor, and it shattered into a million pieces.
I took my now useless iSplotchy back to the store but I was told that there was no warranty on it. What a rip off. I'm begging you people out there not to believe the hype. The iSplotchy sucks, don't waste any of your hard earned money on it.

15 comments:

J.D. said...

Aww, damn. I was so looking to it too! [sigh] At least I still have my iMonkey.

Missy said...

That is just tragic. Will the next model have 2 pipes?

Splotchy said...

Those are nanorocks, you ignorant monkey!

Whiskeymarie said...

Does the iSplotchy come with any accessories, like a sparkly pink carrying case? And, can I download feldspar as well as granite, or is the iSplotchy limestone-specific?

It's not the isplotchy's fault that you're a klutz. Quit blaming the fine folks in corporate America for your shortcomings. Admit it. You just hate technology.

Ubermilf said...

You know what else sucks? Floam.

dguzman said...

Bastards--I hate Circuit City.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Way overpriced for what you get.

Some Guy said...

I'm gonna hold out for the cheap, Wal-Mart knock-off version myself.

Cup said...

I had a feeling they pushed the iSplotchy onto the market too quickly.

Barbara Bruederlin said...

Those bastards. Shout it from the rooftops, so nobody else gets ripped off: "death to isplotchy!"

Distributorcap said...

sell it on ebay -- there is a buyer for anything, even a smashed iSplotchy

Generalissimo (Dictator) for life said...

i know why it sucks the guy you bought it from got it at walmart

Katie Schwartz said...

ok, what is an isplotchy? spill. I hit the site, but I don't get it. I am that retarded or overtired. forgive jewgirl.

Freida Bee said...

I am waiting for the arm strap, so I can avoid this problem. Unless it makes me fall over onto my arm, but in that case, my arm might break and then I can file a lawsuit and get rich enough to buy disposable iSplotchys.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

JD-Much better than your previous comment. This one was amusing because you agreed with the premise of the post.

Missy-Yes and it will have a tropical aroma!

Splotchy-You're personal attacks on me will nay go unpunished! :)

Whiskey-Yes it comes with an acessory, it's a prepubescent Thai boy named Qwok.

UberMILF-You can still get Floam? You're so lucky.

DGuzman-I agree.

Jon-Isn't everything?

Chris-It's made in Arkansas!

Beth-Just like they did with the Segway.

Barb-I shall!

Dcap-Good idea!

Dr. E-You may be correct.

Jewgirl-It was a rock that was supposed to take us all to the promised land. And yes, you may be retarded but we love you still.

Freida-Then you'd be living the dream.