A message from President Bush

Howdy there. I just wanted to say a few words about that mine collapse thing in Utah before I go back out to get some more Jack Daniels, oops I mean, clear brush.
What ya'll got to understand is that if we are gonna win the global war on coal then things like this are gonna happen. We are gonna take some casualties and they may be heavy at times but it's gonna be well worth it, especially when that day arrives when we have burned up all the coal everywhere. Ya'll got to have patience, this is gonna be a long struggle.
I have instructed all MSHA employees to stop inpspecting so much and to start helpng the mine owners get more coal out of the ground. Only when we get government regulations off the backs of the mine owners will we win this struggle. I am fully aware that more men will die but it's okay. I mean it's not like them miners ever gave me or the Republican Party a cent anyway. And from what I heared most of them is Mexicans anyways.

So lemme just sum up my points, in other words coal miners gonna die but it's okay because if they don't then we ain't gonna win the global war against all other fuels besides oil and natural gas.



Now ya'll go on and leave me alone because I'm about to go set the record for most vacation days took by a sitting President. Help yourselves to a Stuckey's Pecan Log Roll on your way out. They're not only good and good for ya, they also come in handy pleasing your lady wife if you can't git it up.
Bye now.