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I'd buy that for a dollar

The third Saturday in August means one thing in Johnson City, that's right boys and girls, today was the annual tree streets yard sale! This was our third straight year of braving the humid blast furnace like temps that are common to our area in August in search of bargains. Here's what we saw this year:
Some homeowners took a minimalist approach to this years massive yard sale.

Others tried to sell their recyclables.

But most got into the spirit of the event and they brought their shit out on their front lawns so people like Sparky and I could peruse it.

Some also brought out modern art sculpture that highlighted man's attempts to traverse not only his immediate surroundings, but his metaphorical universe as well. Or perhaps I'm full of it, you decide.

One thing you always see at this event is harried parents of young children.

And other things you see are stuff that nobody wanted even when it was new. They only took it because they were too nice to turn the stuff down when it first got pawned off on to them.

Speaking of stuff nobody wanted, I thought this $5 TV was priced about $5 too high. It might make a nice book end or maybe one could make it into a modern art sculpture that highlights man's attempts to traverse not only his immediate surroundings, but his metaphorical universe as well. Or perhaps not. I see a landfill in that TV's future.


This box was calling my name:
But by the time I answered it people had already cleaned it out, the dirty bastards.

There was 'fine' furniture for sale at this years event as well as some haute couture:

And some kind soul reminded all the yammering, sweaty, kids in the crowd that Christmas isn't far off. I can only hope that they bray from now until December 24th to their folks about what they want for Christmas.

I'm sure you're asking, "What did you buy this year Mr. Smart Ass?" Well good question and I'm fully prepared to come clean and tell you I bought
a bunch of vintage pamphlets for a dollar, a cheesy cookbook for a buck, a stack of mysteries with really cool covers for a buck, and two baby monsters for a buck fifty. A little girl was selling the baby monsters, which she had sewn herself, and I wanted to support her art and commerce so I bought Slithers (that's the sock that's been sewn shut and had a star and a button sewn on for eyes) and she tossed in Teenie at no extra charge. She was the cutest thing in the world. When I asked if her dirty faced little brother who was hanging out next to her was included in the price she said no, but only after a few moments of deliberation.

And that's the way it was. Or the way I said it was anyway. Next year maybe you'll get off that duff of yours and come do the tree streets yard sale with us.

I'd buy that for a dollar

Once again the magical day known as the Tree Streets yard sale day has come and gone. This was our second year that we attended this hallowed institution and since it wasn't as blazing hot and horribly humid as it was last year the event was quite pleasant. For those of you who do not live in my area, and by my count that's almost everybody who reads this blog, the Tree Streets area is a section of town near the university, East TN State University, where all the streets are named for trees. It's a mixed bag of folks who live there, you get everyone from students to medical professionals to rabid Ron Paul supporters to Obamatons to swinging singles to conservative families. The houses on the streets also vary wildly, some are "fixer uppers" with car seat on the porch and some are $300,000 mansions with manicured lawns that are dotted with pretentious art. So bearing in mind that we didn't want to buy much because we'll be moving soon, we jumped in the yard sale scene and we never looked back.

I love how the items for sale vary so much. One house will have a pile of shitty looking stuff that includes purses made from the soft downy fur that's been harvested from Sasquatch's nut sack:
And another will have boxes of hardback books and vintage paperbacks that is being guarded by a horrendous looking bloody Euro-trash Jesus.
Since the weather was nice, it was sunny and around 75 to 80 F, the streets were littered with all manner of shoppers: Including this hipster doofus who thought he was amusing as heck in his T shirt and tie: This guy spotted a house that was selling doughnuts and 8 by 10 glossy photos of Anita Bryant: Many people were selling drinks and snacks in addition to their trash and old treasures. We were assaulted by many an overzealous kid who wanted us to buy his family's bottled water for a buck or a snack cake for fifty cents. And there were some kind homeowners who thought of all those thirsty dogs out there: Being the smart ass I am, I asked the people who owned the water dish if they had any free water for humans, I told them all they had to do was lead me to their water hose or spigot and I'd be happy. They politely declined my request. I loved, loved, loved this cabinet but there was no way I was going to buy it. It would have put a damper on my day if I had had to lug this around while we made our way through other parts of the sale. It would have looked great in the house we're thinking of making offer on, but we left it for someone else to buy and enjoy.
Our friend Stacy, who lives over on the tree streets, said, "Hey! No pictures!" But you see how well I listened.

Here was a disturbing sight, someone was selling a box full of scissors:I wanted to ask how they came to have so many scissors but I didn't dare since the people who were selling them looked like a family of mad scientists. So we backed away and continued on our yard sale journey.

There are a few constants in yard sales here in the south and they are:1) Some one will always have a pit bull chained up to a tree. This one was nice however. He just wagged his tail as I took his photo and then he went back to eating that stray kid he had snagged earlier.2) Speaking of kids, there are always a plethora of cute kids at yard sales. I love the kids who play with other people toys while their parents shop for second hand clothes and used shoes.3) Someone is always trying to sell what they claim is the last six pack of 1982 World's Fair beer. This beer tasted worse than rancid rat piss back when it was first brewed in 1982, I can only imagine what it tastes like now some 26 years later.

4) And finally in most all big yard sales in the south one also finds antique dealers posing as homeowners. These douchebags try to pass off some third rate bullshit as "antiques" and they expect people to fall for their bull jive. One women had two or three tables with wildly over priced books and magazines on them. I picked up a 1965 Montgomery Wards Christmas catalog and I asked her what she wanted for it, she said, "Twenty dollars." I snorted derisively and told her I'd give her fifty cents for it. She not so politely turned down my offer and I walked away before I said something that would have made me feel better but would have surely mortified Sparky.

All in all though we had a good time and we did end up buying a few small things. Sparky bought two "Indian blankets," a book, and one of those stoneware crocks. I bought some vintage paperback books that I've already scanned and put on Flickr and I got a vintage hardback picture book called Atoms, Energy, and Machines which was published in the '50's and is all about how chemicals and atomic energy are going to give us a much better life in the future and it's chock full of great photos like this one:

I also picked up these two little fellas:
I gave the monkey to my young friend Quinn because he told me the other day that he collects monkeys but I kept the Mexican wrestler dude, I know he's not vintage but I like his look and the cut of his jib just the same.

That's all for this year's event, I'm already looking forward to next year's sale.