A League of Mullets Movie Review

Yo, we watched The Queen and here is our review:

This film is about the fall out over the lack of response from the royal family in the aftermath of the death of Princess Diana. It goes inside the palaces of the British royals and inside the home of then newly elected Prime Minister Tony Blair.

It's a well made, well acted, and well directed film all around. Stephen Frears is one of our favorite directors and his sure directing hand shows all over this fine movie.

Helen Mirren is a standout, she won the Oscar and the UK equivalent of the Oscar for her great performance, in this film. We admit it, we've got a crush on Helen and so does Dr. Monkey, although he's dug her for a lot longer than we have because he is so much older than us. (Watch it you mulletheaded bastards, I'm not that much older than you.) The pain over losing someone in her family and the restrictions of duty all can be seen in Mirren's face in her performance. It's truly heart wrenching at times, especially when the little girl hands the Queen her little bouquet of flowers. Some of us almost shed a tear but then when we saw them about to cry we punched them in the arm, tossed them another can of Pabst Blue Ribbon, and engaged them in vaguely homo-erotic banter.

James Cromwell is also a standout in this film. He plays Prince Phillip, the Queen's husband. He represents the old England and it's old ways of bottling up ones emotions.

Another interesting aspect of this film is it's portrayal of Tony Blair. It's hard to remember a time when Blair wasn't thought of a Bush's butt sniffing poodle. It was nice to see the old Blair in this film. You remember the old Blair, the one who was going to move Britain forward and out of the old days, the one who people believed in, the one who stood for good and not for mindless war. We miss that old Blair and seeing the guy portray him in The Queen made us miss him all the more. Tony, we hardly knew ye. See we can speak all British. (You idiots, no one can hear you, this is all written down not recorded.)

Oh. Well anyways, we really liked this movie, more than we thought we would and we encourage you all to see it as well. And while we're at it, we encourage you to see any Helen Mirren movie, especially the ones where she is nude. Dr. Monkey, are we sick or something, she's old enough to be our grandmother and here we are telling people to go see her movies where she's naked. (No, you're not sick guys, a beautiful woman is beautiful at any age and Ms. Mirren did make a shit load of movies where she shows a bunch of skin. So what if she's a GILF to you mulletheaded dopes, enjoy beauty where ever you find it.)

Okay, go see this flick. Rent it, buy it, whatever. We dug it.

So say us! So Say we all!!!!!

A League of Mullets movie review

Yo, Dr. Monkerstein discovered that his local digital cable provider is now offering free movies on the Video On Demand channel. So he made us watch The Spanish Prisoner again and here is our review:

This tight little gem of a movie is one of our all time favorites.

It's about a guy, played by Campbell Scott, who invents a money making thing that is called "The Process." He works for a big company that is headed up by Ben Gazzara and this company stands to make a lot of money off "The Process." They're concerned that Campbell Scott will leak it or lose it or somehow let it out get nabbed by their competitors. They try to go to great lengths to keep the process from getting loose and to keep Scott at arm's length when he wants to be financially rewarded for inventing "The Process."

Scott gets pissed at the company for not telling him just how much of a bonus they will pay him and he tells his troubles to a friendly man, played by Steve Martin, who he met on an island sojourn with some company brass. Martin's character it turns out is a con man and he is running an elaborate con on Scott in order to steal "The Process" so that he can sell it off.

As the plot unfolds we see all sorts of chicanery by all sorts of folks in the movie. Along the way we are led down blind alleys, metaphorically speaking, and through many twists and turns. In due time the movie answers these burning questions: Is the company going to screw over Scott? Will the hot seemingly sweet new office chick, played by Rebecca Pidgeon, steal Scott's heart or his invention? Are the FBI agents trustworthy? And what's up with that damn old dude with the broom?

Every one of the actors turned in a great performance in this movie. None of their characters uttered a false line or made an gesture that was not germane to the story.

The film was written and directed by David Mamet and on both counts he did a fine job. Of course, since he wrote the film, all the dialogue is in that now famous (or infamous if you hate his stuff) staccato Mamet style. For those of you who do not know what we are talking about here is a little snip of Mamet-esque style dialogue:

Man 1: You got that thing?

Man 2: The thing...

Man 1: Yeah, the..

Man 2: Thing?

Man 1: The...thing

Man 2: Oh...yeah...the th...

Man 1: thing.

Man 2: Yeah I got it.

We dig his style of writing but we can also see how people constantly repeating bits of dialogue and people speaking in circles to one another would get on film viewers nerves.

All in all we really really love this movie. We are suckers for movies about con men and we love most every movie Mamet has written and or directed.

We also really really liked it that Rebecca Pidgeon's, she is Mrs. David Mamet by the way, hair cut was nearly a mullet in this movie. It made us dig her even more.

We recommend you watch this movie whenever it comes on TV, that you rent it and watch it again, and that you buy it on DVD. It rocks.

So say us! So say we all!!!!

A League of Mullets Movie Review

Yo, we watched The Good Shepherd and here is our review:

This movie is about the history of the CIA as told through the prism of one man. It takes us through the crazy days of the early part of WW 2 all the way up to the fall out from the Bay of Pigs. The movie shows us the toll on one family, and our whole country symbolically, that years of fighting first the Nazis and then the Soviet Communists. It also shows us the ultimate futility of espionage and the consequences that come with trusting no one ever. It's got more double and triple crosses than you can shake a rat-tail at. It's a well constructed piece of filmmaking and the performances are tighter than a Scotsman's purse.


Matt Damon shines in his role as the male lead of this film. He plays it very muted and he comes off as somewhat of a "cold fish," which of course he has to be in order to keep all the secrets that his character keeps. We totally got the symbolism of why he totally loved deaf chicks in this movie, it's because they could not hear him lie if he had to. His performance in this film reminded us of Al Pacino's performance in The Godfather 2, very restrained but you can see the wheels turning in his head.

Angelina Jolie turned our many heads in her role as the female lead in this movie. We totally dug it that we could not see her many tattoos and that she was also restrained in her performance. It seems that when it comes to acting in this film for Mrs. Not Brad Pitt, that less was indeed more.

(You know, in the right light, Angelina is actually kind of cute and shit.)

Other note worthy performances in this flick were those of the kid who played their son when he was a small boy, Alec Baldwin's turn as a FBI agent who is a pal to Matt Damon, Robert Deniro's, who also directed the movie, cameo as one of the Generals who founded the CIA, and Billy Cruddup's performance as a British Kim Philby type.

(Screw you Affleck, I'm a better actor than you and always have been baby.)

A pair of performances that deserve a special "shout out " were turned in by Michael Gambon and John Sessions. Gambon has given many great performances in many many films and this one is no different. We hope that this is not his last, he is getting on up there after all, but if it is, then it was a doozy. Mr. Sessions on the other hand is almost unknown to audiences over here in the USA but he is huge, no pun intended since he has gained a ton of weight and we almost did not recognize it was him until well into the movie, over in the UK. His perf in this movie was so subtle and complex that it made us appreciate him even more than we did before.

All in all we loved this movie. It had everything, intrigue, beautiful women, and great acting and direction. Not even a character with a mullet could have made this movie any better. We recommend that you either rent it or buy it, but you dang well better watch it.

So say us! So say we all!!!!!

A League Of Mullets Movie Review

Yo we watched Mistress of Spices and here is our review:

Okay we admit it, we watched a chick flick. Sometimes you have to, for whatever reason, so stop judging us. So upfront we're telling you this is a chick flick and that we did not like it. We can see how some people, mainly chicks, would like it, but it just did not do it for us.

The story is pretty slim and what story is there is pretty silly. The lovely Aishwarya Rai comes to the USA to run a spice shop, she breaks all the rules she is supposed to live by when she meets a scruffy Dylan McDermott, they fall in love, they overcome obstacles to their love, and then an earthquake brings them together in the end. Yawn.

The main problems we had with this movie were primarily the fact that it looked like Dylan McDermott had forgotten how to shave, we've never kissed a dude before but we think that facial scruff might scratch a bit, and secondarily, that it is was another one of those movies where the demure but sweet foreign heroine can only find love with a white man from the USA, as if to say that all other men from everywhere else in the world, especially her home country, were inferior or unworthy of her love.

The only thing that made this movie bearable was the lovely Ms. Rai. So now we present some pictures of the lovely Ms. Rai for all to enjoy.

We are sad to say the not even the addition of characters with mullets could have saved this film.

So say us!!! So say we all!!!!!

A League of Mullets Movie Review

Yo, we watched The Last King of Scotland and here is our review:

Wow. This movie is rockin' like Dokken. It takes place in Uganda during the reign of the nutcase Idi Amin, played brilliantly in this movie by Forrest Whittaker. It's a fictional account of those years, but the film maker wove fact and fiction together rather well.

A young Scottish doctor, James McAvoy, wants to escape from a life of practicing medicine with his dad so he decides to run off to Uganda to work in a bush clinic. After "bagging" a hot African gal he met on the bus, the Scottish sawbones gets to the clinic where he finds out he will be working alongside a sweaty hot Gillian Anderson. He makes a play for her but gets rebuffed.

Events conspire to bring the Scottish doctor and Ugandan President Idi Amin together. Amin takes the young doctor into his entourage because he has a love jones for all things Scottish. The doctor laps up all the luxury and perks of being in the inner circle and he does not see the twisted violence that Amin uses to keep himself in power, until it is almost too late.

We don't want to give too much away so we'll stop summarizing the movie now.

Performances that sizzle like bacon are those turned in by McAvoy, Whittaker, and Kerry Washington as one of Amin's wives and McAvoy's lover. Simon McBurney, who some of you Brit com lovers may recognize as the choir director from Vicar of Dibley, turns in a quite chillingly creepy yet stellar performance as a British intelligence officer in Uganda.

All in all we loved this film and we agree with the Oscar voters who voted for Forrest Whittaker for Best Actor for his performance in this movie. The only thing that would have made this movie any better would have been if there were some characters with mullets in it. If it had some mullet sportin' characters, it would be a masterpiece.

So say us!!! So say we all!!!!!!!!!!!

A League Of Mullets Movie Review

Yo, we watched Notes on a Scandal and this is our review:

Cate Blanchett, looking luminous throughout most of the movie, takes a teaching job at a school in England. Also teaching at this school is repressed lesbian Judi Dench. Dench's character is a old horn dog, and no we are not going to call her the name one usually uses for a female dog, and it turns out that Blanchett's character is a horn dog as well. Dench falls for Blanchett and Blanchett falls for a young male student. Things get sticky, and not in a good way, and everything hits the fan when everyone finds out, courtesy of Dench, that Blanchett has been making the beast with two backs with the young kid.

Dench and Blanchett are pitch perfect at showing us the longing and loneliness of their characters. They both fecking own their characters and they own this film. Other reviewers have said that both Dench and Blanchett chewed more scenery in this movie than Al Pacino ever did in one of his 1970's character pieces, but dude, we disagree with that. These two women give nuanced performances that will stay with you long after you see this film.

The extras on the DVD were pretty standard stuff. But it was nice to see the author of the novel the film was based on, a hottie by the name of Zoe Heller, in the "making of" feature, and the guy who adapted the book into the screen play, Patrick Marber, was in there as well and it turns out he was one of the writers of one of our favorite BBC shows ever Knowing Me Knowing You with Alan Partridge.

Even though this flick had chicks at the heart of the story, it was not a chick flick and therefore it is well worth your time. The only drawback to the movie in our opinion was that none of the characters had a mullet.

This was a good movie. So say us. So say we all!

Steel Cage Death Match of the Week

This week's match is:


The Super Sexy Swinging Sixties Stewardesses
Vs.


The League of Mullets

Special guest referee for this match is former French Presidential candidate Segolene Royal.

She's got nothing but time on her hands now. Pssst, Segolene, feeling bad about your loss in the election? Are you crying and feeling all down and stuff? Come to Monkey Muck HQ dear, we'll console you and make you feel wanted. Trust me Segolene, our "electorate" won't let you down. Au revoir, mon amor.