Comedy influences (the early years)

When I was a young lad growing up in Detroit, Michigan I never got out of the city much. Which is kind of strange condsidering that when I lived there, 1962 to 1973, Detroit was the murder capital of the world and we had race riots that tore our city apart. It wasn't that my parents didn't want to get us out of the city during those crazy turbulent times, I'm sure they did, it's just that we could not afford to go anywhere because we were poor. We were broke ass white family living in the projects welfare check getting food stamp using Medicaid taking poor. Mom couldn't work due to her heart condition and Dad was in and out of the many fine public mental institutions that Wayne County had to offer.

For those first 10 years of my life all I knew was the city, the back of my neck feelin' dirty and gritty city. So it was odd that as soon as I saw Hee Haw for the first time I was hooked. I never had seen a real honest to god corn field, or a hound dog, or a tar paper shack in my life. I had no idea what a banjo looked like before I saw one on Hee Haw or a steel guitar for that matter. But it all seemed so cool to my little young eyes.

I loved the corny jokes they told, the eye rolling puns they made, the stupid skits they did, and the comic songs they sang. Of course I also loved seeing the busty sexy women like Barbi Benton, Gunilla Hutton, Linda Thompson (she dated Elvis for a time and ended marrying and later divorcing Bruce Jenner), Marianne Rogers (former wife of creepy country singer and chicken killer Kenny Rogers), Misty Rowe, and even that blonde haired girl next door type gal who always wore a huge smile along with her flannel shirt and overalls.

A recent photo of the women of Hee Haw at the TV Land awards. Are they still gettin' it done or what?

It was from Hee Haw that I learned for a joke or a comedy bit to be funny it had to have a set up (a beginning), a bit of exposition (a middle), and pay off (an end) to be truly funny. Have a look at this video and you'll see what I mean.

I can't say I loved all the music on the show but I did love Buck Owens and guests like Freddy Fender, Willie Nelson, and Johnny Cash. When the Hagar Twins came on to sing I'd run around to check on my brothers and sisters to make sure they weren't doing something more fun that I was doing or I'd get something to eat. I hated it when Roy Clark came on and sang by himself but I knew it would not last long and they'd get back to the good stuff pretty soon.

As I grew up I quit watching Hee Haw. I became too "cool" to enjoy it or I'd watch it for "the irony." But by the time it ended it's long syndicated run I'd get stoned and watch it and laugh and I'd marvel at the balls they had to have had to keep that show on the air as long as they did.

For many years I thought I was the only "city kid" who dug Hee Haw, then one Sunday afternoon I found out I was not alone. I was over at my friend Jerome's house, he was an African American friend I had when I lived in Roanoke, VA. We were watching a Redskins game and drinking beer when a Hee Haw commerical came on. He said, "Man. I'm worried about my kids." I asked him why and he said, "Because they love to watch that fucking hick ass show." I laughed and I admitted that I did as well when I was their age. He chuckled and said that yeah he could see how kids would like to see corny looking people telling even cornier jokes, dancing pigs, and stuff like that.

I didn't tell him that not only kids liked that stuff and that I still liked it. And sometimes today I'll watch a bit of it if it's on late at night on CMT as I flip back and forth between Sportscenter, Letterman, and Countdown with Keith Olbermann.

Ask Dr. Monkey

I recently sat down and answered some questions from journalists, fans, and ne'er do wells.

I have decided to make a smattering of that interview public.

Dr. Monkey, what exactly do you have a doctorate in? I have a doctorate in Party-ology. I got it back in the 80's. Supds MacKenzie was also in my doctoral class at Psychotic State.

Speaking of dogs, do you have a dog?

No. But if I did, I put silly hats on it and take pictures much like the above one.

Cash or credit? Cash.

Do you know Eva Braun? No, I never met her.

You're sure about that? Yes, of course.

Why do you blog so much? Ever since I had my heart attack and bypass surgery I am not supposed to go outside for very long when it is too hot or too cold. It's way hot right now so I stay inside and blog and read other people's blogs.

Oh okay. Now back to the Eva Braun thing... Ok, I admit I knew her. Barely. We were just acquaintances.

Do you know personally anyone who has lost a shit load of weight? Yes. This is my friend Brad.

He lost 190 pounds after this picture was taken. He looks great, his health is one thousand percent better, and he has added decades to his life because he lost all that weight.

Sweet. Yeah, we're proud of him.

One more question about Eva Braun.... No. I will not answer any more Eva Braun questions.

Which environmental activist do you have a secret crush on?

Majora Carter. I adore her spirit and her passion for environmental justice. And she's as cute as a button.

If we could just get to the bottom of this Eva Braun thing...

Okay, I admit it. I knew her but I did not love her. Now let it be. That's all I'm saying.

Sorry Doc, we missed that last answer of yours, what did you say again?

I said, "I never loved Eva Braun."

Ok.

We love this picture of Fatty Delicious, do you also love it?

Sure. It's funny and mysterious at the same time.

Show us a picture of one of your favorite CDs of all time.

Okay, here you go:

If you had to choose between Monica Goodling and Angela from The Office, which would you choose?

No contest, I choose Angela from The Office. Angela is a character on a hit TV show, the other one is a religious zealot who helped the Bush junta oppress gays, liberals, blacks, and others. Angela rocks, Monica should be in a prison jumpsuit breaking rocks.

Coffee or tea? Neither, I'm hooked on:

We all have our vices.

Yep. And since I had to stop smoking, give up most red meat, give up candy bars, and switch to a low fat diet, I'm not gonna give up my soda. Nope. No way.

What was one of your early comedy influences?

Hee Haw? Surely you jest.

I'm not kidding and stop calling me Shirley. I plan on writing about my love for Hee Haw sometime soon, so watch for that in the near future.

Look at this picture:

Do you agree that Evil Monkeys Rule?

Who says we're evil monkeys here at Monkey Muck HQ? Just because we do not agree with the prevailing paradigm does not mean we are evil.

Would ever wear a sweater like this one?

Not just no, but hell no. Never, not even if I was freezing to death. Now maybe a nice cardigan...

Who in your opinion is one of the world's cutest babies?

No doubt about it, this little gal is. I won't divulge her name or her home country but she is one of the hands down cutest babies on the planet.

Wanna go out for a drink now?

Sure, you all go ahead and wait for me. I'll be along in a while.