Second night

Tonight's headliner Hillary Clinton knocked me on my ass tonight. Okay, okay I was already on my ass as I watched her speak tonight but that's neither here nor there. She did exactly what she had to do to silence the media, the doubters, and to bring in the shrill harpies out there who still are pissed off over her loss to Sen. Obama. She laid out her case for why she ran so hard and long and of course it made perfect sense. Then she laid out her case on why everyone who supported her needs to support Sen. Obama. But I'm sure there are some who will refuse to follow their one time leader because they just can't let it go and because they cling to the notion that party politics are supposed to be all warm and fuzzy all the time. I've been around long enough, I've been avidly following politics and political conventions since 1972, and yes I was only 10 at that time, to know that it's a rough and tumble business and that someone who is down today may be up tomorrow. Getting back to Hillary though, I was very impressed by her words, her grace, her graciousness, and her willingness to attack Bush McCain. If only those few hold outs who claim to support her could have one one hundredth of what Hillary showed tonight then party unity would be a foregone conclusion. Thanks for showing a ton of class Hillary, now if only those pesky half crazed old supporters of your would do the same.

In other business last night the attacks on Bush McCain came fast and furious and yet each attack was balanced with a positive. If a speaker attacked McCain's love of big oil then they would follow it up by a word about how the Obama energy plan calls for more sustainable energy. If they Bush McCain on the war, they they'd remind people that Obama want to bring our men and women home with dignity and honor and as soon as possible. Now, if you hear the idiots like Traitor James Carville, the man who sleeps with one of the architects of this Bush Cheney nightmare administration, say that the tone was too nice and that no one attacked McCain, then that's bullshit. The cable "news" channels refused to show anyone attacking Bush McCain because if they did then they would not have been able to show the douchebag pundits and gas bags like Carville and his horrendous radical right wing wife.

Other highlights from yesterday's festivities included:

My man Dennis "Special K" Kucinich's speech that brought the crowd to it's feet at a little after 6 PM eastern.


Yes, I still have a bit of a man crush on Dennis, he's still the only Presidential candidate who shook my hand and took a question from me. And while I'm coming clean, I have a man crush on Howard Dean as well.

My girls Gov. Jennifer Granholmand Gov. Kathleen Sebelius both spoke tonight and I've got to admit that while Gov. Sebelius is easy on my eyes, she's not the most dynamic speaker in the world.

And finally the other revelation to me tonight was this guy:He's Gov. Brian Schweitzer of Montana. This cat is the real deal, he's a dynamic speaker, he's smart, he's funny, and he's going places people. He had the crowd in the pam of his hand as he spoke about the differences between Obama and Bush McCain. One day this guy will be in the US Senate or on the Democratic party Presidential ticket.

That's all I got for now, I better rest up for tonight when Joltin' Joe Biden makes his acceptance speech. I'm praying to the dark gods who spawned me that he doesn't make any verbal gaffes and that he comes out swinging against his old pal Bush McCain.

Our Interview with Gov. Mike Huckabee, or It's hard to deny evolution isn't real when your being interviewed by a talking monkey

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein: Thanks for stopping by Gov. Huckabee, we appreciate it. We know you've had a heck of a week what with you denying evolution and your son getting arrested for having a pistol in his luggage at that airport.

Gov. Huckabee: What is the meaning of this? A talking monkey? Is this some sick joke?



Dr. MVM: No. I'm part of a super secret race of monkeys that are highly evolved. More highly evolved than you we might add.

Gov. Huckabee: You are a figment of my imagination. There is no such thing as evolution. Not now, not in the past, not in the future, not ever. I was intelligently designed by God and you...

Dr. MVM: Yes? What about me?
Gov. Huckabee: You were not intelligently designed by God. You are a damn dirty ape, an animal! Only fit for medical experiments, shooting, or eating. God told me so, you can look it up in the Bible.

Dr. MVM: I've read the Bible sir and if you truly followed what was written, especially in the New Testament, then you would stop being a Republican this second and you would become a progressive liberal socialist.

Gov. Huckabee: This is an outrage! How dare you speak to me like that you filthy lice ridden monkey!

Dr. MVM: Calm down sir and let's be kind to one another.

Gov. Huckabee: I do not have to be kind to dumb animals! It says so in the Bible. You beasts are here for MY benefit. So nah nah nah.

At this point in the interview Gov. Huckabee's son bursts in the room and waves his pistol wildly.

Cletus Huckabee: You leave my Daddy be now you dang ol' monkey. I'll shoot you, I swear on my Wal-Mart stock options I will.

Dr. MVM: Governor, get your cousin/son out of this office or I'll have the League of Mullets kick both your asses.

At this point in the interview Gov. Huckabee subdues his gargantuan son and he leads the boy to the door.

Gov. Huckabee: We're leaving. Come on Cletus, we don't need to sit here and talk to some dang monkey the Devil sent to trick us into believing in evolution.

Cletus Huckabee: Daddy, let's shoot that monkey and eat him, I'm hungry.

Gov. Huckabee: Not now boy, there's no TV cameras around, you know I don't do nothing if they ain't a TV camera around.

The Huckabees leave and there is a knock at the door.

Dr. MVM: Come in.

Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm walks in to Dr. Monkerstein's office. She smiles, gives Monkerstein a hug, and then sits at Monkerstein's desk.

Gov. Granholm: Am I too early? I saw the Huckabees leave and your secretary said I could come on in.

Dr MVM (clearly besotted): Uh....ummm...it's..uh...umm...well...

Gov. Granholm: I need to make a call, do you mind?

Dr. MVM: Uhhhhh...umm....go...uh....a....head.

After the call the interview resumes.

Dr. MVM: Umm...you're....uh..um...Canadian right?

Gov. Granholm:(smiles sweetly and bats her eye lashes at Dr. MVM) Yes, yes I am.

Dr. MVM: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....ummmmmmmmmm......well......

Gov. Granholm: Yes? (smiling)

Dr. MVM: You.......you're......pretty.

After this point in the interview Dr. Monkerstein basically did nothing but spout gibberish and repeatedly tell Ms. Granholm that he thought she was pretty, really pretty and an hour and a half later Gov. Granholm left.