Our Interview with Gov. Mike Huckabee, or It's hard to deny evolution isn't real when your being interviewed by a talking monkey

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein: Thanks for stopping by Gov. Huckabee, we appreciate it. We know you've had a heck of a week what with you denying evolution and your son getting arrested for having a pistol in his luggage at that airport.

Gov. Huckabee: What is the meaning of this? A talking monkey? Is this some sick joke?



Dr. MVM: No. I'm part of a super secret race of monkeys that are highly evolved. More highly evolved than you we might add.

Gov. Huckabee: You are a figment of my imagination. There is no such thing as evolution. Not now, not in the past, not in the future, not ever. I was intelligently designed by God and you...

Dr. MVM: Yes? What about me?
Gov. Huckabee: You were not intelligently designed by God. You are a damn dirty ape, an animal! Only fit for medical experiments, shooting, or eating. God told me so, you can look it up in the Bible.

Dr. MVM: I've read the Bible sir and if you truly followed what was written, especially in the New Testament, then you would stop being a Republican this second and you would become a progressive liberal socialist.

Gov. Huckabee: This is an outrage! How dare you speak to me like that you filthy lice ridden monkey!

Dr. MVM: Calm down sir and let's be kind to one another.

Gov. Huckabee: I do not have to be kind to dumb animals! It says so in the Bible. You beasts are here for MY benefit. So nah nah nah.

At this point in the interview Gov. Huckabee's son bursts in the room and waves his pistol wildly.

Cletus Huckabee: You leave my Daddy be now you dang ol' monkey. I'll shoot you, I swear on my Wal-Mart stock options I will.

Dr. MVM: Governor, get your cousin/son out of this office or I'll have the League of Mullets kick both your asses.

At this point in the interview Gov. Huckabee subdues his gargantuan son and he leads the boy to the door.

Gov. Huckabee: We're leaving. Come on Cletus, we don't need to sit here and talk to some dang monkey the Devil sent to trick us into believing in evolution.

Cletus Huckabee: Daddy, let's shoot that monkey and eat him, I'm hungry.

Gov. Huckabee: Not now boy, there's no TV cameras around, you know I don't do nothing if they ain't a TV camera around.

The Huckabees leave and there is a knock at the door.

Dr. MVM: Come in.

Michigan Governor Jennifer Granholm walks in to Dr. Monkerstein's office. She smiles, gives Monkerstein a hug, and then sits at Monkerstein's desk.

Gov. Granholm: Am I too early? I saw the Huckabees leave and your secretary said I could come on in.

Dr MVM (clearly besotted): Uh....ummm...it's..uh...umm...well...

Gov. Granholm: I need to make a call, do you mind?

Dr. MVM: Uhhhhh...umm....go...uh....a....head.

After the call the interview resumes.

Dr. MVM: Umm...you're....uh..um...Canadian right?

Gov. Granholm:(smiles sweetly and bats her eye lashes at Dr. MVM) Yes, yes I am.

Dr. MVM: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....ummmmmmmmmm......well......

Gov. Granholm: Yes? (smiling)

Dr. MVM: You.......you're......pretty.

After this point in the interview Dr. Monkerstein basically did nothing but spout gibberish and repeatedly tell Ms. Granholm that he thought she was pretty, really pretty and an hour and a half later Gov. Granholm left.