And now here's some dating and personal hygiene tips for young men from some former Major League baseball players

Spring is here and naturally a young man's fancy turns to love. So to help all you young dudes out there do better with the ladies I coaxed some former Major League baseball players into offering up the following tips about dating and personal hygiene. And guys, there's no need to thank me now for this post, you can thank me later by having lots of children who go to work as soon as they can so they can start paying into the Social Security system and by doing so keeping it afloat at least until I die.

"Hi kids, I'm two time MVP Frank Robinson and I was the first African American to manage a major league baseball team, so I know what the hell I'm talking about okay. If you want to score with the ladies you got to be nice and listen to them when they talk."

"Yo dudes, Luis Tiant here. Being respectful of women is a good way to get them to go out with you. Don't be all up in their faces with your slang, don't be grabby, and don't be using curse words around them damn it."

"Take it from dead ol' Norm Cash guys, do not get hopped up on horse tranquilizers right before your dates. It pisses off chicks something fierce."

"Boys, be well groomed and clean your fingernails before all your dates. That always worked for me."

"I'll bet you didn't know I played Gopher on the last season of The Love Boat did you? It's not something I'm proud of but hell yeah, I did it. Hey, can you spare a few bucks so I can get a bottle of cheap wine? Drinking helps me forget that no one but asshole bloggers remember me now. No? Well up yours then you cheap bastard.""Al Kaline here. If you're going to "hit it off" with the girls then you've got to be well dressed, courteous, and always remember that 'No' means no. And between you and me, you did the right thing by not giving Patek any money. He's a mean drunk who pisses any damn where he pleases when he's plastered."

"Hey smart ass, I know you only asked me to be in this post because of my name. Sure, laugh it up, 'Dick Pole' hahahahaha, funny huh. Well you know what? I've had enough of guys like you so I'm gonna get together with my buddy Dick Trickle and we're gonna put it to you. What? Did I just use a double entendre? Dang, I got to stop doing that."

"Sure end with the guy with the big ears, very funny. Laugh it up mister. But remember this while you're chuckling about my huge Dumbo like ears, I actually played major league baseball and you didn't. You didn't even make the varsity team in high school monkey boy."