"I'm mad that someone pixelated the good parts of those nude Jennifer Lawrence photos that got leaked online. But dang, she's got an Oscar winning butt, doesn't she?"
"I'm mad Mexicans are taking all the lucrative produce picking, dish washing, and landscaping jobs from hard working Americans. I'm also mad that Obama loves them illegal immigrants so much that he's forcing schools in the USA to teach Spanish!"
"The general malaise of life has got me down. Perhaps a drug or a sex addiction will help me crawl out of my depression."
"What's wrong? Really? I'm in a fucking iron lung and you're asking me what's wrong. How about fuck off. That's what's wrong."
"Billy's breath smells like something dead ate a horseshit pie that skunks have jizzed all over and my wife has been abducted by aliens, that's what's wrong. Oh, and we're the only color illustration in this post."
"We have to live in a world where instead of teaching men not to rape, people blame us for dressing like sluts and drinking too much if we get raped."