Monday, August 4, 2014

One out of three ain't bad

"Hey, I have an idea for a slasher film.  It's set in a British school and what happens is this school is terrorized by a bunch of young hooligans in hoodies who kill and maim anyone they can.  The action takes place at night and they do most of the killing in the school.  I'll write in a bunch of hackneyed hoary old stereotypical characters, the alcoholic teacher who's being dumped and divorced by  his hot wife, the sexy principal who never listens to anyone but herself, the sex crazed disobedient daughter, her boyfriend, the worthless wussy security guards, the ineffectual British cops who don't carry guns."

"What's the ending?  Do the hoodie hooligans get some justice in the form of bloody over the top deaths?  Does the alcoholic teacher save the day?  Do the cops bust everyone?"

"No.  There's no resolution.  We just end the film with a school full of hoodie wearing killers, the soon to be ex wife of the teacher, and a shit load of corpses.  The final scene is the teacher driving away from the school, that's it.  No real resolution, it's post modern that way."

"Sounds good to me, make that motherfucker."

And that's how The Expelled came to be made.

I get it it ladies, I understand your fascination with Colin Firth.  He's a handsome dude with a British accent.  But if you only saw him in this film, you'd hate him.  In this film he's a worthless lump of potatoes who happens to be a huge fan of Arsenal, a British soccer team.  He meets a hot new teacher, played by the super sexy Ruth Gemmell, and they hit it off, date, become a couple, and he knocks her up.  But his love of his team comes between them.  Wait, can you see what's coming next?  Sure you do.  You see his team playing for the championship, you see him and her on the outs, you see his team winning it all which gives him the courage to finally grow up and patch things up with his super hot girlfriend who would never fuck a schlub like him in real life.  

Ugh.  I did not like this film at all, except for the sexy Ruth Gemmell.  It was disappointing to say the least.  

But the weekend viewings was saved by Appropriate Adult.

A man of limited intelligence is arrested for murdering his daughter and a woman is selected to be his 'appropriate adult' who will look out for him and his interests in the murder investigation and possible trial.  He bonds with her and as he does he feels comfortable enough to confess to more murders that he and his wife and his brother committed.  His advocate becomes overwhelmed by all of the proceedings and then her bipolar partner has a breakdown as the case proceeds.

I've made it sound awful but it's really really good.  Dominic West is terrific as the dim witted murderer, everyone else is top notch but West stands above the pack.  It's absorbing and frightening.

All three of these are currently on Netflix instant.

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