Here's a message from the board of JP Morgan Chase, a too big to fail bank

Our CEO Jamie Dimon lost 6.2 billion of our company's money in 2012, so we took drastic steps to make sure he's learn not to do naughty things like that again.  First of all we cut his bonus from 23 million dollars to 11.5 million.  We feel that's a pretty harsh thing to do, taking away his money like that, so there's that then.  But we needed to make sure he's going to tow the line and behave and make us all even more obscenely rich than before so we also did the following:

• We took all his imported wine away and now he's on a strict diet of domestic wine.
• We stopped paying for his 24 hour service staff, he's going to have to pay for that himself from now on.
• We took his company car away from him and we're making him share a limo with other naughty CEOs.
• He no longer has a private restroom in his office, he'll have to use the executive washroom like the rest of us.
• We've taken away his unlimited hunting of undocumented workers privilege at our country club.  From now on, his limit is three maids and two pool boys.
• He won't be allowed to eat fillet minion or spotted owl any more on company property.  He's going to have to make due with porterhouse steak and bald eagle from here on in.

All these things, combined with only getting an 11.5 million dollar bonus, should make Mr. Dimon see the error of his ways.

Now, you people get back to work making us money or we'll fire every fucking one of you.