"I'm thankful my vagina is sparkling clean."
"I'm thankful the neighbors haven't noticed me digging all the holes in my back yard."
"Malt liquor and caffeine pills."
"Decomposing bodies."
"I'm thankful I'm not a turkey."
"I'm thankful I don't live in Gaza. Those fucking Israeli's will bomb anything they suspect is anti Zionist."
"Two words: back hair."
"Harps and puppies."
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