Monday, November 5, 2012

There's something in the water and it ain't good

I really wanted to like this Aussie horror film, but it never happened for me.  The film is about how the accidental death of a young girl effects her family and her community.  They try to make it all scary and psychological but it comes off as just boring and tired.  I ended up hating it and wanting that hour and a half of my life back.  Not recommended at all.

As if watching one bad movie this weekend wasn't enough, my curiosity got the better of me with Suspicious River.  The tagline on Netflix said this was a film about a woman who becomes a hooker in the motel she works in and it stars Molly Parker.  How could I go wrong?  Hot as blazes Molly Parker playing a hooker?  Yes please.

Unfortunately, it all went very wrong.  Parker turns to turning tricks to make some money and to cuckold her husband who wants nothing more than to not eat while watching TV all the time.  Okay, fair enough then, let the hooking begin!   Commence the hot nasty prostitute sex with Molly Parker!

Oy, wait, stop.  Parker plays all her sex scenes, and the rest of the film if I'm being honest, as if she's brain damaged and one step away from being comatose.  I guess vacant eyed stares and heaving sighs counted as great acting back in the year 2000.  Ugh.  Then as if her somnambulant performance wasn't bad enough, her character falls for a guy who beats her, steals her money, and pimps her out.

But wait, it gets 'better'!  All through the film she interacts with a little girl who could almost be her when she was young.  The little girl's parents are having marital and money woes and the mother ends up in the arms and bed of her husband's younger brother who eventually kills her.  Then dog gone it, wouldn't ya know it, the kid was Parker's character when she was a kid and they've been interacting all along!  Quel surprise!  Ooo, la la, the new cliche plot twist, how very fucking stupid.

Don't get me wrong, I love Molly Parker.  I think she's a good actor and she's hotter than 5000 suns going super nova but she's awful in this awful film.  It's creepy and not in a good way.  It made me feel dirty and ashamed to watch it.  It's anti female and contains scenes of violence against women and rape.

Avoid this one like the plague.


Barbara Bruederlin said...

I consider myself warned! Those sound like stinkers.

beatgrl said...

Thanks for watching these so I don't have to. Love your reviews.