Sunday, June 10, 2012

A recently approved batch of vacation Bible school themes

I'm Rev. Dick Gloryhole with this years approved themes for vacation Bible school in your church:
  • If scientists are so smart, then why didn't they create the world?
  • Jews, are all of them going to hell if they don't accept Jesus Christ?
  • Mormons, Mormonism, and why they smell like they do.
  • Evolution tricked us into believing in it.
  • Jesus loves Ayn Rand.
  • Poor people don't give enough to the church.
  • Aborting atheists, doing God's work.
  • Read your Bible, but only the parts we tell you to.
  • Roman Catholics, we're not really friends with them because they're going to hell for not believing like we do.
  • Don't make Jesus an illegal immigrant in your heart.
  • What to do if Obama forces you to get gay married.
  • Jews for Jesus, are they always turncoat spies for the cabal of Jews who run Hollywood and the world banking system?
  • How to turn anything and everything into a debate on abortion.
  • Jihad for Jesus!
  • How to disprove evolution with facts in the Bible.
  • Stoning women who speak in church, should it be carried out in to the rest of society?
  • Using your genitals to glorify Jesus.
  • Canadians, can they get into heaven after taking socialist medical care?
  • Praying away Obamacare.
  • How to tell if someone in your family is gay just by French kissing them.
Any use of other themes in your local VBS churches will bring excommunication and the wrath of God down upon you.

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