Monday, June 25, 2012

It could happen to you!

Gomer Huckabee, seen here after he ate the Sunday supper at all the churches in Arkansas,


said that the EPA might try to regulate the amount of water Baptists use when they baptize people.  It's something that would never happen, but it's a real government related fear that Gomer and his flock have.  So let's play along with Gomer and come up with some other stuff that a government led by a religious right nut job might do! 

Ready? 
Okay!

  • A Mormon president could get elected and he could force us all to wear his magic panties.
  • A Baptist minister could get elected president and he could force us to murder all people who don't share his narrow view of the Bible.
  • An evangelical person could get elected president and force all people who acknowledge the truth of evolution to be beaten with thin metal rods.
  • A Roman Catholic could get elected president and force us all to get ass fucked by a priest.
  • A Pentecostal could get elected president and they could force all women to become breeding machines with no voting rights!
  • A hardline Jew could get elected and they could force all Christians and Muslims into interment camps.
  • An atheist could get elected...wait, no...that could not ever happen, not in the USA anyway.
See how fun it is to come up with wild stuff that will never happen just so we keep each other scared of each other?  Once again, religion divides us all and it's right wing Christian nut jobs who are pushing that scare tactic.   I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm not afraid of Muslims, it's the Christian majority I fear.  Those motherfuckers will do anything to attain power, to hold onto power, and to force their religion on everyone.  Only when we leave Bronze age religions behind will we advance.

4 comments:

kirby said...

Either Gomer is as dumb as a stump or he just really, really knows his base. Still, neither case is mutually exclusive.

Oh, and it looks like Gomer has been dipping back into the squirrel pot again. Don't gastric bypass patients explode or something when they start going back for thirds on their chow?

SkylersDad said...

well said.

dguzman said...

I have a super-conservative Christian friend (who is, as long as we don't talk religion or politics, a nice guy) who is completely in a tizzy about Mitt. My friend doesn't consider Romney a christian, but he's always voted republican -- and he can't vote for Obama because of course Obama's a muslim AND he believes in a woman's right to choose.

I'm THIS CLOSE to getting the guy NOT TO VOTE. Wish me luck. Then it'll be one down, millions of morons to go.

gmb said...

dguzman: Tell him to vote, but to write in vote....for Jesus. That'll send a message.
And Dr. Monkey, if an atheist got elected, that would mean that America embraced reason. Sadly, not in our lifetimes. Well, not an open atheist.