Tuesday, February 7, 2012

What are you Republicans outraged about now?

"I'm outraged Obama tried to interject religion in politics. We Republicans are the only ones allowed to do that kind of shit. Praise Gawd!"

"I'm outraged that Planned Parenthood is allowed to do abortions on women that aren't even pregnant!"

"What are you wearing baby? I'm naked and I'm rubbing my...holy shit...What? What am I outraged about? I'm outraged you're interrupting my call to my stock broker!"

"Two words: Ron Paul's prostate."

"I'm outraged that my hairdresser gave me a hairdo that makes me look like Kid from Kid N Play. Hey, what happened to them anyway? Is House Party 5 still going to be made?"

"Muslims. I'm outraged over Muslims who won't give their lives to Jesus. And Jews too. What's up with them people?"

"I'm outraged you thought I was a Republican. Did you not see my afro?"

"I'm outraged you can buy a baby chick, raise it, kill it, pluck it's feathers, cook it, and eat it but if you try to fuck it while it's still alive you get arrested. My liberty to fuck chickens is being taken from me. Will Ron Paul help me get it back or has the all powerful chicken lobby gotten to him too?"

"I'm outraged I married the guy above me who wants to fuck chickens. Do you know a good divorce lawyer?"

"I'm outraged that Obamacare won't let me have a prescription for Oxycontin and rotgut vodka."