Tuesday, August 23, 2011

The Perils of Public Education

Greetings you disgusting internet users. I'm Skippy Koch, the oft forgotten Koch brother. I'm a teabagger just like my brothers and the thing I hate more than unions, more than gay marriage, more than regulations on banks and business, is public education. It's a waste of money, time, and resources.

If the Communist riddled public school system was really beneficial it would teach children to shut up and never question captains of industry like me and my brothers. Instead it teaches them that none of them should be left behind, that they are valuable people, and the old Communist pastime, how to stand in lines:
And yes, I know that the homosensuals have infiltrated public schools with their gay agenda. Here's a photo of a PE teacher showing kids in his class how to bugger someone from behind:
Sick. Sick. Sick.

Kids in schools today aren't learning things like how to shine the shoes of their betters or how to serve corporations more effectively. Instead they're using schools to drain your local community of tax dollars that go to frivolous things like medical attention to kids that are clearly faking illness. It's obvious to anyone with half a brain that the little girl in the photo below can work despite having a 'foot problem.' I know damn well that if I kicked those crutches out from under her freeloading arms she'd fall down and be able to pick peas and beans and other food crops.
Kids in schools today demand to be coddled in other ways as well. They demand play time so that they can dress up in silly costumes and mock the ruling classes.
They also love race mixing as well as you can see.

Let's face it America, if you have to pay more and more taxes to support these little brats who should be working instead of sitting on their little asses then instead of being able to afford boxes of mac and cheese, fancy mustards, bologna, and fortified wine, you'll have to eat goldfish.
But dang it, those 'fancy' goldfish will be out of your budget range and you'll have to settle for the floaters in the tanks at Wal Mart.

Let's take a page from the book of foreign schools and do things on the cheap like they do. If we have classes outside then we won't have to do maintenance on big expensive schools anymore, and in fact, we can sell them off to deserving corporations.
We can teach kids how to carry things on their heads like they do in Africa. See, if kids are carrying things, then they don't have time to ask for things like free lunches, milk, pencils, and attention.

We could also adopt the European practice of ritualized murder of Christian children. Less kids in our public schools means we can have less public education and we wipe out a generation of annoying do gooder Christians. It's a win win.

All right internets readers, that's all I have time for. I have to go detail my big brother's cars and iron their underwear, it's important they look good when they go out to oppress you and yours. Bye for now.


Kim Hambric said...

Ah, yes. The usual Monkey Muck pinpoint accuracy.

Mnmom said...

And that's exactly what they're thinking I'm afraid.

Suzy said...

Thanks for the laugh. I'm glad someone's keeping their eye on thugs like me.