- I'm 47, soon to be 48 in October (start shopping for my birthday now!), unless you're over 70 you don't get to play the 'Oh, I'm older than you, so obviously, I know more than you do but your little opinion is soooooo cute,' card with me. I've lived enough to have earned my opinions and views.
- You're welcome to comment on my Facebook wall but you're not allowed to hijack it with you're disagreements or even you're agreements. If you feel that passionately about what I said on my wall, go write about it on yours. And remember, it's my wall and I get the last word on it, even if I have to remove your comments.
- Hey grocery store clerks, top rolling your eyes when I tell you up front that I brought my own grocery bags and that I'll bag my own groceries. I tell you up front so that you won't waste any plastic bags on me and if I don't tell you up front, you automatically reach for plastic. I'm not trying to put anyone out of a job, I'm trying to bag the stuff I buy the way I want it bagged. It's my right, I paid for the stuff after all.
- The correct response when someone thanks you for something is, "You're welcome." It's not, "No problem."
- Stop acting like it's the end of our friendship if we disagree about something. We don't have to agree with one another 100% of the time.
- If I send you a package in the mail, make sure you let me know you got it. You don't have to thank me, or tell me what I sent you sucked, just let me know if you got it. Well, okay, it wouldn't kill you to thank me.
- Pretending that your run in with a dread disease, past abuse at the hands of someone else, or your fucked up family history is an excuse for your bad behavior today is not going to cut it. You want to play those cards? Fine. I'll match you. We'll go tit for tat. Or we can act like adults and accept the consequences of our actions.
Seriously, go on...get on it.
Don't make me come after you...