And now, here's a special guest post by the Koch brothers

Hello America, it's the Koch brothers here. And yes, we're 'those' Koch brothers. The obscenely rich ones who control the Republican party, the Tea Bagger party, and soon we'll control the party in your pants that we never get invited to. We're here because we know what's best for the USA and what's best for the USA is free markets that we control. Competition is key to the success of America and for our way of life and as long as we or our subsidiaries own everything, then we can make sure competition is in effect, or as the kids today say, "In da house!"

We've spotted a weakness in our fine country that we need to work on. Left unchecked this weakness could tear our country apart and leave it open for exploitation by the godless gay Commie Muslims. This weakness we speak of is the vast network of pre schools and day care centers that molly coddle our kids and make them weak simpering benefit dependent welfare wanting liberal thugs.

Instead of instilling a good work ethic that will make them want to work 16 to 20 hours a day for little or no pay, these dens of socialism promote things like
the benefits of getting enough sleep,

beard worship,
reading for pleasure,
the homosexual agenda,
and gambling.

Instead of being taught that the highest form of human endeavor is to toil away for 'the man,' some of these cesspools spoil children by keeping them constantly hydrated with fluoridated water.
And they pamper them further by allowing them to use indoor toilets to get rid of that water.
The children of this nation need to be taught from a young age that their lot in life is to work tirelessly to make us and people like us richer and more powerful than ever. They don't need to learn to think for themselves, we rich people will think for them. They don't need to learn to play with toys,
games, or their body parts. They need to learn how to take orders and how to get a job as soon as they can operate heavy machinery.

They also need to learn to fear the woman with the relentless shag hairdo:
And finally America, if you don't agree with us, then you're a dirty fucking Communist and you're going to get raped by Stalin, Lenin, and Rosa Parks for all of eternity when you die and go to hell. And let's make no mistake, all labor agitators, lazy people, and those who oppose us are going to hell. We know this because we're richer than your gods are and therefore we own heaven.

So get on it you lazy good for nothing bastards, our will be done or we'll get pissed and we'll outsource you to China or India and then where will you be? Go on, get back to work while we still let you have a job. Oh, and before we forget, you're getting a pay cut because we want a big bonus.

No. We're not kidding, so quit whining or you'll all end up in Gitmo where our pal Donald Rumsfeld will piss on you after we have you horse whipped.