Monday, February 7, 2011

Random Superbowl observations

  • Christian Aguileria left out words to our shitty national anthem. Seriously, we have the world's worst national anthem. And we had one of the world's worst singers perform it, so we got what we deserved.
  • No they didn't jerk Michael Douglas off life support to compare a football game to the civil rights struggle, MLK, and JFK. No they fucking didn't...oh shit, I guess they did. Wow Fox, you really suck.
  • I not only want to never drive whatever piece of shit car Ford was advertising in that 'race' ad, I want to stab the person who okayed that ad in the neck with a anthrax coated pencil.
  • It doesn't matter how many ads you run Bud Light, I'm never ever going to drink you. I'd rather drink Milwaukee's Best Light as it's being pissed back out by a syphilitic drifter in a back alley.
  • Hey Brett Favre, when you're racing your tractor around after you diddle your cousins on your ranch in whatever bum fuck backwater deep southern state you live in when you're not ruining NFL teams chances to make the playoffs, you can console your self with the knowledge that you started more consecutive games than Aaron Rodgers did. However, you and he are tied in number of Superbowls won, which I guess means you'll be back next season. Yawn.
  • Dear Steelers fans, it's official, you're as annoying as Dallas Cowboy fans now. Congratulations!
  • Is it wrong of me to hope the Joe Buck and Troy Aikman both get cancer of the larynx?
  • I spotted three war criminals at the Superbowl and only two of them were named Bush.
  • I really hope Daniel Snyder asshole owner of the Washington Redskins is reading this and that later a small child kicks him in the balls really really really hard. Daniel, I hate you not because you're a Jew, I hate you because you're a lousy human being who has as much business running an NFL team as Sarah Palin does being President of the USA.
  • Holy shit, is it baseball season yet?

6 comments:

PENolan said...

I love you, Dr. Monkey

Mommy Lisa said...

Awesome.

Mnmom said...

National Anthem - so many layers of suckitude.

Kim Hambric said...

Hi:

My husband unplugged the center speaker in his TV audio system (the one that Joe Buck and Troy Aikman spoke out of) so all he heard was the crowd noise during the game - a big improvement according to him.

gmb said...

I don't have a tv, wouldn't watch football if I did. And I loved this. You're the best, Dr. Monkey.

libhom said...

Brett Favre should just move on to gay porn.