Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Common ground

Want to hear something strange?

You sure?

Okay, here goes...I agree with teabaggers and conservatives who say that we must slash government spending. Here's where I'd cut the budget:

  • I'd slash defense spending to the bone. We've got enough military hardware, bombs, and bullets to defend ourselves from any attack.
  • I'd end farm subsidies. We grow way too much corn and there is no reason in the world why we need to subsidize the sugar industry.
  • I'd cut all foreign aid to any country that sponsors terrorism and that oppresses it's citizens and others who were born within it's borders.
  • I'd declare null and void all contracts with any private corporation that is involved with our occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan. And I'd end that occupation immediately and I'd being home all troops stationed there.
Now, unlike teabaggers and conservatives, I've got ways we can increase revenue, which we can use to to rebuild our national infrastructure and to fund single payer national health insurance for all. Those ways are as follows:
  • We end the fiction known as the war on drugs and we legalize marijuana for both recreational and industrial use.
  • We end the tax exemption for churches and houses of worship. From now on all religions pay taxes on all property and assets they own.
  • Everyone from now on pays the same percentage of their income in federal income tax.
  • Businesses pay one dollar per square foot of property they occupy in taxes and we use those taxes for national health insurance for all.
  • We tax ammunition for those second amendment protected guns. We raise the tax on a box of bullets from $50 to $500 per box depending on the size of the bullet.
  • All malls, big box retailers, and shopping centers must put up solar panels or plant roof top gardens. And the proceeds of those gardens goes to local food banks.
  • We end tax breaks for corporations that outsource jobs out of America.
  • We tax the shit out of all fossil fuel based industries until they find ways to stop using fossil fuels and move to a more sustainable energy source.
If we adopt these simple common sense measures, wed be back on our feet in no time and our future would be secure. Once again, I've come to the rescue of my country. You're welcome America.


jadedj said...

Monkey Muck for president! Problem is, if elected, you'd most likely be assassinated the first month in office by some right-wing religious nitwit.

Lisa said...

I'd sign on to this. Well done, you.

Sam said...

No. Not a terrible list except for two:
If I make a billion dollars and you make twenty thousand dollars a year cleaning old people, that percentage of our income is going to hit us very differently: the former may not get a third yacht for their poodle, the latter may not get an occasional ticket to the movies to unwind. There's a reason that the Forbes of the world are anti-progressive taxes and pro-flat tax.
Second, attacking churches is wrong; the public sphere isn't the enemy.

Blueberry said...

I like it.

Dr. Monkey Hussein Monkerstein said...

So asking religious organizations to pay their fair share is 'attacking' them, eh Sam. Dude get over it, you watch too much Fox Noise. For centuries religious organizations have laundered money out of the system and into their pockets under the guise of doing good. And they are doing good, for themselves only. Oh, I also wouldn't classify churches and the like as 'the public sphere,' they operate under a different set of rules than most public institutions do, hence the reason they should be taxed on all their property and assets. Just imagine if we taxed the Vatican on all it's holdings in this country, that would go a long way to closing the gap the Bush tax cuts have left us with.

And the reason I say everyone pays the same percentage of their income in taxes is to make the wealthiest among us pay their share, which they are not doing now. If the tax rate if 10% then a person making $20,000 pays $2000 in taxes and a person making $200,000 pays $20,000 in taxes. See how that works? The more you make, the more you pay in taxes because you can afford to pay more.

Lsamsa said...

I love common sense...and you, Dr. Monkey, not only bring that to the present it better than most.
Wishing you a common-sensical, peaceful & happy 2011.

Kal said...

It would be a Golden Age.

C.S. said...

Excellent. Living in the South, if we started taxing churches...what a windfall! There's literally one on every corner here; all they do is strong-arm members into tithing, then use the money to build more onto the church, monster-sizes that devour entire blocks!

Imagine being an agnostic like I am in this region!

gmb said...

Agree with it all, except we need a progressive tax rate. As Sam noted, asking someone who makes only $20k to pay, say, 25% of their salary in tax means they are looking at living on less than $16k (when you consider FICA taxes, state taxes, etc). It sounds good at first, but it is a flat tax and flat taxes simply are not progressive. As for everything else, perfect. Want to go to church, go ahead. Just make sure your church pays it's fair share of taxes--the real savings and burden are the state property and sales taxes that are avoided. It really burdens some communities.

Estancia De La Ding Dong said...

Excellent points Doctor Monkey Muck.