Friday, May 14, 2010

Here's a message from Mitch McConnell (R-KY)

Greetings mah fellow Americans. As you know The Socialist in Chief made his pick to replace Supreme Court Justice Stephens. And he chose Elena Kagan who is probably a lesbian. I base that statement on these facts: Ms. Kagan has never married, she went to one of them fancy Ivy League schools, and she used to play softball. My staff has unearthed this photo of her from her softball days:
As you clearly see she's got a mullet and she's got the homosexual gleam in her devilish eyes. When the time comes America I will question Ms. Kagan on her lesbian activities. She will tell me the truth or I will squeeze her boobies in my manly hands:
In my hands she will be putty, as all women are. She will tell me if she just experimented with girls while in college and if she still muff dives today. I will make her tell me all about it great detail because we all know that one's rug munching skills are what's important on the high court. I'm not against the homosexual agenda as long as as the homosexuals in question are a couple of foxy women. If Kagan comes clean about who makes her cum and if she paints hot sexy word pictures that give me a boner then I'll vote to confirm her. If she makes a healthy deposit in the spank bank in my mind then it's smooth sailing for her, if not then I'm going to sentence her to take a warm soapy shower with Harriet Miers.

That's all for now America, now ya'll get back to work damn it.


Who you callin' housewife? said...

In my house, we call him Midge. Half the time he looks like he's been goosed, the other half he's clutching his imaginary pearls. In a cage match between Kagan and Midge, I'm gonna put my money on Kagan. As a matter of fact, I'd put my money on Kagan over Midge no matter what they were doing. Does anybody really listen to this man? I'm embarrassed to even look at his picture.

Ricky Shambles said...

As evidenced by the caricature that looks surprisingly realistic, this man is walking foolishness, though I doubt he could walk and squeeze boobies at the same time.

"sexy word pictures that give me a boner" LOL!

Agi said...

now that is a fantastic mullet

libhom said...

The ironic part is that there are plenty of people who have outed McConnell.

Bustednuckles said...

That guy is a slime bucket of the first order.
Newt Gingrich is bad but this guy is quickly shaping up to be worse.