A very special guest post from the late Dale Evans

Hello everyone, Dale Evans here with a quick recap of the past few days under the new hate crimes bill. Good dead born again Christians like me know that this new bill that extended the same rights to homosexuals that you live Christians and Jews already have is going to ruin our once great nation, just as many in the religious community have said. They knew things were going to change but they didn't know how drastically they'd change or how quickly they'd change. Here's what happened just this past weekend as a result of those homos being protected under the same God given rights as you and other believers in Christ and Creationism:

Many jars of various pickled items went uneaten this weekend because pot luck dinner after pot luck dinner at church after church was canceled out of fear that gay attendance at all pot luck church dinners was now mandatory under the new law.

Christians were boiled alive and no one was allowed to speak out about it because doing so would be a labeled a hate crime.

Doctor Doom was buggered by that flamer the Human Torch and he got fisted by the Incredible Hulk. Christian voices were kept silent in keeping with the tolerance promoted by the new law.
Pigs were forced to mate with Muslims and Jews while Christians were told not to say anything about it.

Cats and children were made to fornicate as well.

And finally, under the new hate crimes law it's a crime against fashion for Christians not to dress like homosexuals and so millions of followers of Jesus went out and bought up all the flannel shirts and soft ball uniforms on the planet and as a result of that lesbians were forced to wear pretty fairy costumes but most of them did so in an ironic way.

I hope for your sakes that Jesus decides to start the rapture and come back soon, but honestly, I wouldn't count on it because he's having too much fun partying with Elvis, George Carlin, Josephine Baker, Dorothy Parker, Marilyn Monroe, Gandhi, Miles Davis, and Picasso. So you're going to be on your own for a while longer and if I was you, I'd learn to get along and stop being such douchebags towards people you don't like or understand. Heck, if I can learn to live and let live with that whore Princess Diana, then you people ought to be able to do the same.