Friday, September 4, 2009

They were young, they were pretty, they were sentenced for crimes against Obama 'Death Panels'

"I spoke out against the socialist fascist idea of covering all Americans with government run health insurance and they told me to shut up and said I had to wear this ridiculous hat with this blouse. I may be smiling, but if you look closely enough at my eyes, you'll see that I'm dead on the inside now."

"We disagreed with the President on gay marriage so our death panel told us we had to spend the next 10 years making out with each other while dressed in silky nighties. They very idea of us kissing each other makes me excited, ummm, I mean, it makes me sick. Yeah, that's it, the very idea of kissing her soft wet ruby red lips and letting her tongue probe my hot wet mouth while she caresses me and gives me pleasure makes me want to throw up."

"My death panel made me shear a sheep and use the wool to make this sweater. I damn sure didn't want to learn how to do that shit because now I bet they'll send me to some hell hole like New Zealand when it's sheep shearing season down under. I wanted to be a fucking ballerina instead. They ruined my life. I hate socialism."

"The death panel I saw told me I could wear only this slip from now on. I am to go topless until I die. What will happen when my now perky boobs start to sag? Will the teenage boys still flock to me and stare at my tits in awe? Well? Will they?"

"My death panel was super nice. I told them I was dying of cancer and that all my hair had fallen out due to the chemo. So they made me this nice hat thingy and they offered to make me a wig I could wear in my coffin when I die. The wig is going to be made from hair harvested from the heads of Christian boys and girls who are going to be brainwashed by our glorious leader President Obama next week. I hope I live long enough to hear his great brainwashing speech."

2 comments:

Wings1295 said...

Wow. That is interestingly bizarre.

Only you, Dr. Monkey.

Distributorcap said...

this brings a whole new dimension to reality TV