Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Dear Deluded Christian Troll,

I deleted your comment. You can feel free to evangelize anywhere you like, except on my blog.

And no, I am not curtailing or taking away your freedom of speech. You are free to speak what you like elsewhere. However you are not free to post comments telling me I am insane for not believing in the same delusion as you do. And no, I don't need to read the Bible more, I've read it from cover to cover during the years when I was deluded like you are. You see Troll, I was raised Roman Catholic and then I became a United Methodist and I went to a conservative religious Presbyterian college, so I know all the stories, I know all the stock answers you're going to throw at me as to why I should I believe like you. Been there, done that, and I don't buy any of it anymore. Don't assume my lack of belief is the result of not knowing about the Bible or Jesus or any of that, because I know all about it, I just don't believe in any of it.

Any more comments you put on my blog will be deleted as soon as I see them. It's not like you people don't have plenty of other places to spread your madness, you do, so go spread it elsewhere and stop infringing on my freedom of religion. You see Troll, my lack of belief is as protected by the first amendment as your delusional Christian beliefs are, I know that comes as a shock to you but it's true. You have the right to follow which ever Bronze Age fairy tale religion you choose and I have the right not to, and I also have the right to speak out about my lack of belief just as loudly as you proclaim your belief in whatever it is you believe in.

Seriously, trust me when I say that no amount of me mumbling to a deity who is not there is going to bring me back into your delusional fold, so stop wasting your time. I'm never going to believe in your Bible, your god, or his son. Ever. I'm never ever going to go to a church service. I'm never ever going persecute people for being homosexuals like you people do. I'm never ever going to be a part of your mass delusion.

Instead, I'm going to think for myself. I know you hate that kind of thing but honestly, it's what's best for me. But if it makes you feel better, your god told me it was okay for me to not believe in her, she's totally cool with it so you should be too.

13 comments:

Snad said...

Oh, for Jeez. There you go making the baby Jeebus cry again. Big meanie.

Sherry Pasquarello said...

good on you! ; )

Oblio said...

Well said, Doctor... and more of the same, please! On the whiteboard in my office is written a quote from the eminent author and philosopher, Isaac Asimov: "The saddest aspect of life right now is that science gathers knowledge faster than society gathers wisdom." As a former Catholic and current freethinker, those words resonate with me and everyone who reads them. AWAY, TROLL!!!

Missy said...

Troll zapper! Hooray!

Lockwood said...

Nicely said. I just wish I could have seen the comment that inspired this.

Anonymous said...

Good for you. It's your blog. If he or she want to spread their message, they should get their own fucking blog.

Wings1295 said...

Kudos man. I may have to paraphrase you someday. Hopes ya don't mind! ;)

themom said...

Having gone down a similar road (Episcopalian, Presbyterian to Lutheran), I'm with you Dr. MVM. Kudos for you and banishing the troll!

Cal's Canadian Cave of Coolness said...

Damn...I would have liked to read it if only to mock it but you are right...why give the douchebag any attention at all...Snad talks of Jeebus...funny story...they gave us these cheap ass made in Africa bibles for graduation...we were looking over them when rehersing for our ceremony in the church and my buddy turns to me and asks "Cal, who is our lord and savior?" "I of course answer JESUS?" "NO NO NO he says...It be JEEBUS!" They had spelled Jesus wrong in the ENTIRE BOOK...we got amazing milage out of that...who says Africa doesn't have a sense of humor.

Blonde Goddess said...

I get all kinds of weird comments and emails.
I normally mock them openly and laugh at them. That gets rid of them fast.

Dean Wormer said...

Ouch. You kicked his ass, Monkey.

I can't help but wonder if it isn't more insulting to leave up the comment and just ignore it. I'm assuming it's the same guy that just hit a bunch of blogs and over at randal's everybody essentially ignored him except to point at him and laugh.

At least he's trolling blogs rather than picketing clinics or marching in a teabag protest. There's nothing less productive than the internet.

Ubermilf said...

No_slappz visited me.

Jealous?

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Ubie-He knows better than to let me know he's visited me.