American women speak out about how President Obama has made their country less safe since he took office

Susan Thompson of Tuscon, AZ says that President Obama's tax cut for middle class people has made her life less safe. "With the extra money I bring home in my paycheck I can now afford to get high by sniffing large amounts of spray on deodorant instead of doing meth. The bikers I used to buy meth from have to make up for my lack of business from somewhere and so they're now selling their shit to the neighborhood kids who break into houses in our neighborhood to steal stuff to sell to get money to buy meth with. If I didn't have all this extra money I couldn't afford all this sweet sweet huff material I buy now."

Janet Morrisett of Belle Plains, OR says, "I got so scared after I heard a black man was going to be our President that I forgot to take my birth control pills. And look what happened:

Yep. I got knocked up and now I spend my days chasing after a kid. Damn you Obama!"

Allison Rhea of Del Rio, TN says, "I'm afraid that if they close Gitmo then the terrorists will win and I won't be able to compete in the all Suzi Quatro look alike contests that I do now."

Margie Crotts of Roanoke, VA says, "Obama has made my weight balloon since he got that hamburger with Dijon mustard on it. I thought to myself, 'If my President likes Dijon on his burgers, what else might it be good on?' Now I eat it on everything."

Faye Leitch of Miami, OH says, "I'm afraid that the terrorists that Obama used to pal around with, you know the ones Sarah Palin warned us all about, might take my children if they aren't minty fresh. So I'm constantly sniffing my kids, so much so that I got fired from my job. Now all I do is go Gault and sniff my damn kids."

Audrey McClintic of Middlesboro, KY says, "I'm squat thrusting for Jesus! Leave me alone."

"My house is safe, Obama and his socialist buddies won't be able to redistribute our belongings," claims Inez Wager of Dothan, AL. "If they try I'll kick them in the balls with my boat shoes."

Candy Drop from Petaluma, CA just wants her mom to stop making her wear sweaters and heavy tights during the summer months. She couldn't care less what our President does.