A paler shade of ecru

I've been watching the Republican convention in small doses. I have to keep it in small doses because if I watch too much then their lying lies will make my blood pressure rise too much and I might have another heart attack.

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I missed the entire first night because I could not find my "American hat." I asked Sparky where our "American hats" were and she said that they were still in a container ship that was docked in a port in LA. It seems that there weren't enough inspectors to check that ship for terrorists because they had to lay off all the inspectors so we could keep funding the occupation of Iraq. So our made in China "American hats" are a continent away.

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I missed the entire second night because of I'm sick of seeing old white guys blabber on and on. The reason I'm sick of seeing old white dudes blabber on is because I spend too much time in front of a mirror practicing my elocution lessons. In my defense though, I'm trying to learn how to talk without a Southern accent so that if I ever move back to the Midwest I'll sound normal to those people up there. (I'm just kidding, I'd never move back to the Midwest, it's too damn cold there.)

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So that leaves last night and I'll admit I tuned into to try to catch Gov. Caribou Barbie (Thanks Bubs!). In the lead up to her speech I saw Gov. Gomer Huckabee speak a bit.And he was cracking "joke" after "joke." He also said he was sick of hearing the Democrats saying that Gov. Barbie had no experience and I thought to myself, "Well, that's because they're right. She has no experience to be Vice President, much less be the President." Then he nattered on about how she had "executive experience," which I'm guessing she got from being Governor of the least populous state in the union. As he touted her "executive experience" to a hall full of enraptured, though not yet raptured, white people, my mind floated back to the last person who was President who had a whole lot of "executive experience:"That didn't work out too good for us as a nation. He had plenty of "executive experience" and he stuck us with a ballooning deficit, a quagmire in Iraq, the hatred of our allies, he ruled by division and by fearmongering, he spied on us, and he squandered the biggest federal surplus in recent history. Oh yeah, he also made our lives less safe so that he could kill Saddam Hussein and take Iraq's oil. Ummm, Gov. Gomer, please tell your Republican brethren that this nation can't stand any more of your party's "executive experience." It was a disaster the first time and it looks like Gov. Palin has even less "executive experience" than Bush Jr. did at the time he was appointed President by the Supreme Court in 2000.

Tomorrow night they'll nominate the oldest man ever to be nominated by a major party in this country's history:And his choice to be his second in command is a woman so clearly unfit and un-American that she is a virtual laughingstock everywhere but the hall where they're having the RNC. His cynical pandering choice of a Vice President shows just how old and out of touch he is.

But don't get me wrong, I don't hold a grudge against all older people. There are plenty I admire and look up to. I love Teddy Kennedy, Sparky's mom and dad, and this gal:

Hubba, hubba.