Friday, September 26, 2008

Calm the hell down

America, calm the hell down. I mean it. Stop with the nervous Nellie bullshit.

The financial crisis is not a crisis for you. It's a crisis for the greedy pig fuckers at the top of the financial food chain who made all those bad loans. They thought they were oh so smart by lending big sums of money at high interest rates to people. But I could have told them that no amount of interest is going to save you when you loan money that is never going to to be repaid.

Many years ago, before Bush McCain and Phil Gramm and all those other Republicans and some Democrats deregulated the banks and the financial sector of our economy and they laid waste to all those great Great Depression era laws that would have prevented this shit from happening, when you went to a bank and you didn't have enough money to repay a loan the bank told you, "No, you can't have a loan, please get out." But after deregulation they said, "Hells yeah you can have a loan but since you are a credit risk we have to charge you a higher interest rate and we have to fudge your loan application a bit so that it looks like you've got more assets than you really do." The point is they made many loans to people who were credit risks, and please understand I'm not blaming the people who applied for those loans, I would have done the same thing if I had been in their shoes. I'm blaming the banks who made the loans. They got stars in their eyes and a boner for more profits when they decided to wade into the less than stellar credit pool. No one forced these banks to give loans to people who were considered credit risks, they did it all by themselves because they wanted to make more money.

And now when after they see what their actions have wrought they want us to bail them out and that's bullshit.

My over all point here is that you all need to calm down. Your home, your job, your bank account is not at risk here. It's the people at the top who are going to suffer. They want to scare you so you'll turn over more control to them. They want this to the the financial equivalent of what they did in the aftermath of 9/11. Don't fall for it, it's bull shit. remember all this panic is being brought to you by the people who gave you the Patriot Act, the never ending war of terror on Iraq and Afghanistan, and the bungled response to Katrina. Do you seriously believe the man who stood on a flight deck in front of a banner that read "Mission Accomplished" and told us that the battle for Iraq was over and that we'd won? He was wrong then and he's wrong now. He's worried that his pals in the very top of the business world will lose money while he is in office and that's why he's in a panic. He's worried that they might toss him into their version of Gitmo and do bad things to him for losing them all this money.

But seriously America, calm down. This shit storm is not going to hit you, it's all on them. You keep on keepin' on, go to work, pay your bills, and live your life. And if you laugh as the chickens come home to roost on Wall Street, then I certainly wouldn't blame you.

14 comments:

Dean Wormer said...

Well, to be fair our 401ks are kind of at risk at least in the short term.

But for the most part I agree with you. What worries me is the psychological aspect of this. We may be making this a self-fulfilling prophesy.

HelenWheels said...

Thanks, Dr. Von Monkenstein, that surely needed to be said.

Mnmom said...

And remember to phone your reps and tell them "No bail out without strict oversight and no golden parachutes!".

Barbara Bruederlin said...

hahaha you said pig fuckers!

CDP said...

I actually did write to my Senators and my Representative about this. It's a foregone conclusion that the bailout will happen, but I'm glad it's stalled, that just means that they're actually maybe considering it before just signing off. After all, even Paulson admits that he pretty much pulled the 700 billion figure out of his ass.

dguzman said...

God, if only we had a former CEO for a president, because everyone knows that CEOs truly understand high finance, corporate law, the market, and what's fiscally responsible.

FAIL.

Morse said...

Well said, Dr. Monkey. But just to make sure, let's vote those GOP fucks out of office.

Übermilf said...

It's the terrorists! It's the financial meltdown! It's something, anything to get you to hand over your rights and your money and whatever else we can grab from you! Just don't ask any questions or you'll die... DIE...



DIE!!!!!

HelenWheels said...

Ubermilf so VERY often takes the words right outa my keyboard.

Spirula said...

Maybe I missed something, but what is the of the objective of terrorism? If I remember correctly, it is to destablilze a country by making the population terrified, and engage in reckless, irrational, and paranoid actions.

That can't possibly be happening here, because that would mean the terroists have achieved their objective, and the Republican eternal war on "terra" is a failure.

(I really hate these parasitic, opportunistic assholes and the "gated community" types that keep them in power.)

Micgar said...

What you are saying is correct, I believe and it is crashing on the Wall St pig fuckers! What gets me is that I heard some GOP a-hole say that he wants to make sure that the bailout doesn't help those Wall St PF's, and just goes to help the American people. What?! Weren't the Rethugs always pushing (like you said in this post) for less regs and stuff to help and profit those very same PF's?! The American people-ie you and I were never a concern for them in the 80's-now!

DCup said...

Okay, I'll calm down. There's a certain comfort in not having much to lose.

kim said...

You are fucking correct.

Snad said...

I hate pig fuckers! Pigs are such nice creatures. Of course, that doesn't stop me from eating them.

By the way, Dean Wormer, your best bet is to not look at your 401K for a year and a day.