Bush McCain announced he'd give a $300 million dollar prize to anyone who invents a better car battery if he is elected. Later his campaign announced that you can get the following amounts of cash for some other things:
- $35 if you invent a way to stop him from calling his wife a cunt again
- $250,000,000 if you come up with a way for him to divorce his wife and marry you (offer only open to rich right wing women)
- $1.40 if you figure out how to work his TV remote control contraption
- $75 is yours when you work out a way he can stop being caught flip flopping on issues
- $1,000,000 if you figure out a way for Jesus's daddy to get his daughter pregnant with the new messiah
- $15,000,000 if you come up with a solid plan to get him out of his deal to sell his soul to the devil in order to get elected President (he must still win the election, just no soul selling to ol' Scratch)
- $2 if you can get him a good tug job without the media finding out about it (happy ending must be included)
- $347.93 if you invent a aftershave that successfully masks his "old man" smell
- $98.12 if you can figure out how to make those damn kids stay off his dang lawn and turn that noise down
- .02 for your opinion
- $25 if you can make that light stop blinking on his VCR
- Name your price for anything having to do with keeping the Iraq war going (Halliburton, KBR, Blackwater, and Amway only need apply)
- $17 if you can get Traitor Joe and Little Lord Lindsay's lips removed from his asshole long enough for him to have a proper shit
Bush McCain announced he'd give a $300 million dollar prize to anyone who invents a better car battery if he is elected. Later his campaign announced that you can get the following amounts of cash for some other things:
11 comments:
Amway's involved in Iraq? Where the hell have I been? Yikes! That means my parents and their friends are involved as they sold it when we were kids. Damn! I'm the child of war mongers!!!
Also a free trip to Iraq if you can wipe his ball prints off Richard Cohen's chin.
I've got a piece of duct tape that's going to earn me a cool $25. And I'm sure I can find an old bottle of Drakkar Noir to try for that $347.93, though I don't have a lot of faith that it'll kill that smell.
$2 for a tug job that includes a happy ending? Are you kidding me? Giving Bush McCain a tug job would cause permanent scarring, both emotionally and physically (I think it would cause me to go blind)! There isn't enough money in the world for this!!!
huh...no one gives me two cents for my opinion, when did they start doing that?
.02 is rather steep for a whiny liberal like me. I think he'd pay .02 to have me shipped to Gitmo.
Ol Scratch - haven't heard that one in a while. You have some great stuff floating around inside that head of yours.
is he trying to poop in that picture? cuz that's what it looks like.
Funny! I'm stealing the VCR joke.
I think I can cash in on everything except the tug job and "keeping the Iraq war going." Oh, and I'll have to pass on the "divorce his wife and marry (me). If I did that I might have to do the "tug job," and even $250 mil isn't enough for that.
Can I get a couple of bucks if I refrain from spitting on him and that harpy he calls his cunt?
I'll pay him a hundred bucks to shut the fuck up and go away.
Post a Comment