I went to visit my rival Dr. Zaius recently, he lured me there under the pretext of free banana daiquiris and some intelligent political discourse but as soon as I got to his hellish hideaway he reached into his bag of mind control tricks and he nearly pulled out my small simian brain.
While he was unsuccessful in yanking out my brain, he was indeed successful in putting a lobotomy fez on me and he and his running mate Germaine Gregarious began making me dance and strut like an Osmond brother on PCP. Luckily the wind blew his evil fez off me and I was able to regain my bearings. But a curious after effect of having his fez of doom on me was that I now saw him and his running mate as they truly were. I'm sad to say that Zaius looked much the same, with the exception of a his big pot belly that he got from eating all those second slices of chocolate cake. His running mate on the other hand looks like this in real life:
The sight of her shook me to my simian soul. I was so badly traumatized that I took smoking back up for a day or so.
But things calmed down for me after I left the Zaius compound and I hooked back up with my home girl Kristi. She "debriefed" me and now I'm back in the driver's seat and I'm ready for action.
9 comments:
Getting OFF cigarettes and back into the wise counsel of GKL will surely get you where you need to go.
Phew, close call there Monkey. Glad to see you racing to a fine finish.
You lead the most remarkable life, Monkey. I would remain vigilant when it comes to Germaine Gregarious. She's got a lean and hungry look. Such humans are dangerous.
Ha! "Big pot belly" - why I never! I will have you know that I am merely pleasantly plump. Anyway, chocolate cake is good for you! It's practically health food! Good day, sir. GOOD DAY!
You drive around in your skivies?
Is that more aerodynamic?
Zaius is evil and that last picture really makes me want to play Mario Kart as Donkey Kong.
Whoa, that was a fun ride after the debriefing too - next time, I'll pop my head up for the photo.
My dear Dr. Monkey, even I haven't seen myself without makeup on since sometime before the onset of puberty.
This leads me to believe that you have been spying here at the Lair. Enrique warned me that there was a mysterious roaming shrub in the garden.
Well, monsieur j'accuse: you are an evil bush! And aren't we tired of evil bushes? Mais oui, monsieur. MAIS OUI!
GKL's comment is making me blush.
Did she put your briefs back on you afterwards?
Greatest. Pic. Ever. (the mind-controlled fez monkey).
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