I had a dream

Whew! I had a crazy dream the other night I want to tell all of you about. I dreamt that Splotchy had somehow stole my running mate away from me.

As the dream started out I was not the fully developed last of the full grown monkeys that I am today, no, I was a small simian once again, yet I had all the intelligence that I possess today.
My mother was making me take a bath in what appeared to be holy water.As soon as I got into the holy water bath it changed and I changed as well. I became 100 % monkey and I stopped being the monkey/human hybrid that I normally am. The bath water and bath tub changed into the Ganges and a waiter from Sitar, a locally owned Indian restaurant here in Johnson City, was ferrying me across the holy river.Once we got to the other side he morphed into a hot Latino chick and I became Jesus on the cross. I didn't mind so much because I had such a great view. But then things turned nasty. I heard a voice taunting me. It was saying things like, "Nah nah nah, I'm gonna steal your running mate. Monkey/Love in 2008 is kaput! All power to the concrete and pipe cadres!"I shook my head to get the foul sound of the voice out of my ears and suddenly I was with my running mate Kristi on top of a mountain. And there in front of us was the iSpoltchy and he was taunting me. "Monkey lunky, I'm sending you to hell and I'm taking Kristi to the place I know to be heaven, Applebee's!" The iSplotchy then leapt up and smacked me in the head and I passed out.When I woke up I was in some strange world where people wore Crunky instead of holding it.
In this bizarre world the Flying Wallendas were the Tumbling Wallendas.
And I noticed something else strange,
I had one ball, not two in this dreamworld.

But as quickly as you can recite the Gettysburg Address I was picked up by Whiskey Marie in her chariot of the gods that was pulled by the rhino of indifference. We pillaged and wreaked havoc for a bit but then my cell phone started ringing.It turned out my lovely running mate Trinity/Kristi Love had found a good connection and she got me out of that dream world. Then I woke up. It was one crazy dream.
Later at one of our late night strategy meetings I told Kristi all about my crazy dream. We laughed and she assured me that there was no way that Splotchy could ever steal her from me. We had a good laugh, a good cuddle, oops, I mean we had another good laugh about it and then we released a statement to the press.
Satisfied that everything was hunky dory in our campaign Kristi and I shared a private make out, shit, I mean, another private strategy session as we watched the sun go down. I was happy that my crazy dream was just that, a crazy dream. Or was it??????