Monday, December 24, 2007

Holiday greetings from the fat bastard who writes this blog

Hey! Hey you fat bastard, wake up!

Huh? What is it?

It's time to send out your holiday greetings.

No shit?

Now that's some nice language to use on Christmas Eve Mr. Guttermouth.

Bite me. You know what, I'm not gonna do it. I don't wanna do it, so I'm not gonna do it.

I'll give you a cookie if you do it.

Really?

Yes.

Ok, cookie first.

Here.
Mmmmm, thanks. I like gingerbread snowmen cookies.

Ok fatty, give up the holiday greetings.

I'm loathe anymore to say the words "Merry Christmas" any more because those assholes on FOX and the mouth breathing cretins who watch and believe that crap will say, "It's a victory for our side because he said Merry Christmas!" But having said that, I'd like to wish all those who celebrate Christmas the very merriest of Christmases. To my Jewish friends, this may be late but I wish you a happy Hanukkah. To my black friends who celebrate Kwanzaa, I wish a happy holiday to you too. And to all my fellow non believers, I hope you have a super swell winter gift giving day.


I've come to feel like all you crazy funny smart kids on my blogroll are my new extended family now. I also feel the same way about the great new friends Sparky and I made this year during our anti war agitating, people like Snad and John, Joseph and Vanessa, Rev. Shuck, Keith, Cam, and Quinn, and all the other great folks who got off their butts and who marched for peace and who stood outside on those cold Saturdays last winter and spring. I love all of you and I hope that you all have a fantastic new year.

My gift to all of you this year is you can use my picture as your computer wall paper. Or if you like, you can use all the pictures in this post and you can make a screen saver out of them! No need to thank me now, history will thank me later.


Happy Holidays Everybody!!!

18 comments:

Snad said...

Same to you, Monkey and Sparky - getting to know you and the others you mentioned has been a great gift - without the hassle of standing in line waiting to explain why you don't fit!

SamuraiFrog said...

Merry happy to both of you!

Bob said...

Ah, you closed your post with a large "Happy Holidays" banner; that should be enough to irritate the O'Reilly "War on Christmas" crowd, so take heart there. Greasons seetings, happy holidays and Merry Christmas to ya!

Crayons said...

Hi Monkey (and Sparky)

Jewish heritage and non-believer and anti-consumption. I don't celebrate Christmas anymore, so this is a really relaxing toasty, cozy day in my apartment.

I feel like you are modified family also. You have intensified my notions of funny, righteously angry, clever, astute, poignant, and savvy. Happy Tuesday-just- like-any-other-Tuesday.

Caroline Crayon.

Distributorcap said...

o you my friend

the happiest of holidays ever
and thanks for all the smiles you have brought me this year

Dr. Zaius said...

Merry Christmas, Dr. Monkerstein!

Dr. Zaius said...

Merry Christmas, Dr. Monkerstein!

Dr. Zaius said...

You are so nice that I said it twice!

Anonymous said...

Merry Christmas, Doctor and Sparky!!!

Fran said...

Oh my good Doctor. You are the best of the best and I am so happy our blog worlds collided when I was but a baby blogger, 6 months ago.

6 months ago? Oy!

Anyway, happy, merry and bright to you and Sparky.

Those Fox bastards ruined everything, didn't they?

Uh-oh, forget Jeebus! I hear hooves on the roof!!

Randal Graves said...

Merry Super Magical Jesus Baby Day to you and yours, my friend!

John Shuck said...

Merry Christmas, Dr. and Sparky! I sure enjoyed walking the line with you for peace!

joshhill1021 said...

Merry Christmas to you and Sparky, Dr. or Festivus or Happy Tuesday or happy consumerist time of the year, whatever you want to call it, may you enjoy the cookies that come with this time of year.

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Snad-I'm looking forward to the get together on Friday!

Samurai-Back at ya buddy.

Bobby-Same to you and your lovely family. See you at Snads place on Friday.

Crayons-Thanks for your warm wishes.

Dr. Zaius-You doubly bless me sir. Same to you my friend.

D Cup-Same to you dear!

Fran-Hooves on the roof? I hope it's Rudolph and his buds and not a herd of buffalo!

Randal-Same to you my friend.


John-Happy holidays to you buddy!


Boxer-Same to you my friend.

Anonymous said...

Happy Holiday!

But it is still 391 more shopping days until Bush is out of office.

Oh, you meant the OTHER holidays!

kim said...

Merry Christmas Monkey. I liked your cookie.

dguzman said...

You're my inspiration in the dark times, Dr. Monkey. Thanks for leading another successful war on christmas! FIRE!

NotSoccer Mom said...

best holiday wishes to you and sparky!