What's that? You say you can't quite make out that pagan scribbling on that package? Well, allow me to move in a bit closer so you can make out this blasphemy:
God damn them! How dare they put all the early winter holidays on the same level with Christmas? Jesus H. Christ, all those white folks who spent years oppressing blacks, Jews, women, and gays would be outraged that Baby Jesus is not washed in the blood of the holiday lamb and held in higher esteem than all those other holidays. ********
What's next in their insidious war on Christmas? Will they tell me to have good will to all men and to wish for peace on earth this year? Well I'm here to tell them no freakin' way! That kind of talk sounds like something that was cooked up in a back room at the UN!
********
So until the next dispatch from the war on Christmas, this is Dr. Monkey asking you WWBJD? What would Baby Jesus drink? He wouldn't drink any Anheuser-Busch products that's for sure. He'd drink Molson Ice or Jack Daniels because he likes a quick buzz.
11 comments:
OMG, I almost spit out the coffee again! I love getting these news dispatches from the war on xmas without having to go to O'Reilly. Thank you, Monkey, thank you!
Ha! You have fired the first salvo in the War on Christmas! Good show, Dr. Monkerstein.
At least you were able to leave such insidiousness behind by exiting that haven of blasphemy. Every day, to and from work, my bus passes a - sniff - "Seasons Greetings" sign.
Forgive us, Super Magical Jesus Baby, for we know not what we do.
Some blaspheming heathen told me The Baby Jesus Family was into Hanukkah.
Well, Baby Jesus grew up. He grew up, I tell ya. He remembers. He knows. He's got all y'all's numbers.
Right here
I'm not sure if Baby Jesus like Coors, but Coors sure likes Baby Jesus.
the christmas holiday was stolen from the pagans! those no good theives! the christians had to rope-a-dope those pagans in somehow and those stupid pagans wouldn't stop worshipping trees and mother nature. hence, christmas trees and the mother and child images. if there is a war on christmas it's because we pagans want our holiday back! well anyhow, that's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Monkey, let me be the sixth to ask, "Why do you hate Baby Jesus?" ¿Por què, mono?
Are you still mad at me about the Ron Paul comment?
I'm soaking in it, now. Where's that raincoat?
Dgiz-If I can stopone person from getting their news from O'Rielly then I've done my simian job.
Dr. Z-Someone had to do it, I'm glad I was the one.
Randal-Baby Jesus forgives but He does not forget.
Urban-That's insane! Jesus family not Christians? Wow, crazy.
John-Tell me your church did not pay for that billboard. No wait, if you did it was a bit of post modern genius!
Vikki-Coors loves Jesus now, what if it turned out he was gay and a Democrat?
Liberality-I'm all for things going back to their pagan roots. It did wonders for me.
Freida-You only hate the ones you love. And how could I ever be mad at you for expressing your opinion? I have no problem with civil people who express opinions different than mine.
Dr. Monkey, We should join forces. I have planed a take over of the War On Christmas. Also I have compiled a Worst Christmas Songs list that will further the effort in the war.
Post a Comment